Posting for advice for my Godson. His mum died six years ago and I’m very close to him because of that. He is absolutely distraught at the moment and has turned to me for support.
He is 20, in his final year at Uni, and has been in a relationship with an absolutely wonderful girl (also 20) for the past 18 months. He told me almost from the start that he knew she was “the one”, and I can see why because they are pretty much perfectly matched.
They spent most of the summer together working abroad and they seemed ecstatically happy. We visited them for a few days and they were so obviously in love, and so comfortable with each other that it was a joy to spend time with them.
Since the start of term her responses to him have been increasingly confused. She said that she loves him very much, but that 20 is too young to be in a committed relationship. She asked for space to think, and he gave her that, even though it hurt him. Within 24 hours she had turned up on his doorstep saying that she had been completely wrong, and she was missing him really badly. They made up, and all seemed well again.
Now, a couple of weeks later, she has said the same thing – 20 is too young. She loves him, she can’t imagine ever being with someone else, she doesn’t want to play the field or be out dating, but she needs space. She’s been out of touch with him for 3 days now, and my GS is hurting badly.
My GS doesn’t seem to having been crowding her – they spent a couple of weeks apart at either end of the holidays, they both have shared and separate interests at Uni, they have mutual and separate friends, so they seem to spend a reasonable amount of time both together and apart.
He is mature (he had to grow up fast when his mum died), attractive and great company. She is the same, and yet suddenly she is messing with his head like this.
I have met her many times, we get on very well, and I could call her, but I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do?
Can anyone explain what might be going on with her, or advise me what my GS should do? I was in a very different situation to her at that age, and I only have younger boys, so I haven’t a clue how to approach this. Thank you.
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Advice for a distraught young man, please?
oldmacdonaldscow · 10/10/2013 19:41
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