Not sure where to start. I was raised by abusive grandparents while my siblings were raised by our toxic mother. I spent a year living with them and mother beat and starved us.
My siblings have issues with the way mother behaved and understandibly too. I only lived with them for a year and was glad to get away in my early teens. They stayed and continued to be abused.
I made my own life and had children as I was so desperate to escape the abuse and my past. I needed someone to love so badly. My siblings stayed at mothers until they hit 18 and then ran away as fast as they could. Mother died several years ago now.
I have almost no contact with family now. My grandparents call me and I speak to them. I don't cope to well with that but am afraid to stop answering. I still have contact with my sister and I feel a huge amount of guilt for leaving her to stay with mother.
She seems to be aware of this and comes to me with problems. Things like money, childcare and anything else. She has her exes family and keeps saying how they are her only family. I am completely ignored until she needs something.
She spends her money on stupid things and then runs to me for money. Stupidly I give it to her over and over again. I can't afford it and she doesn't even thank me. I am making myself ill with all the stress she causes due to her stupidity yet I still can't say no.
She is family and I'm so afraid to lose her but it's breaking my heart how I am only good enough when she needs money. Whatever I do will never be enough to make it up to her for leaving her.
Sorry this is so long and I hope it makes sense. I just really need someone to say it's ok to walk away or give advice on how to deal with it
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How to say no to possibly toxic family
15 replies
toxicfamilydestroyingme · 03/10/2013 17:12
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