Hi, I am new here. I have been reading this board for a few weeks and was hoping for some advice with my own situation.
I have not allowed my ex to see our kids without supervision. This has been going on for a while, he has not taken this up, so is not seeing the kids but has made it clear he intends to take this to court. He has been saying this for a while and it does not seem he will ever actually do it.
I have had some contact with his family and friends who say my concerns are unfounded, that I need to get help and separate my issues with him and the children, but I feel my concerns are valid and that he is manipulating and lying to everyone about what has happened.
What worries me is his mental health, that he does some very extreme and negative things that create crisis situations, often taking things over the line of where things go from being ok, to being very very bad. He regularly talks about killing himself, is a known suicide risk, does things like vanishing for days without a word so everyone panics he has killed himself and does so many other things to push people away that if I wrote down the details I would probably be outed.
In combination with this, he became madly angry with me and started doing things to get at me, like refusing to see the kids for months on end. he told me he wanted nothing more to do with them, threw away their toys, walked past them in the street ignoring them. This stopped and started until the last time when it went on for 9 months and I thought that was enough. I feel that treating children in this way is unacceptable, that this is emotionally abusive and considering that he has shown he is unable to prevent himself from knowingly upsetting the children as a result of this hatred towards me, how could i trust him not to involve the kids in the other kind of stunts he pulls?
I am tired of having this hanging over me, it has been going on for years and in a way I think that he is just perpetuating his need to have some negative impact on me by having this long standing threat of taking it to court followed by long silences and ignoring my letters (In the relationship he used to say he was leaving, would never see me and the kids again, then sit on the sofa in silence for days).
So I wondered what you thought-do I sound like a mad women for asking for supervised contact ? and what can I do to resolve this stalemate?
Thanks for reading (sorry about the long first post) x
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is it right to ask for supervised contact over this?
Neepandthedragon · 29/09/2013 21:13
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.