Ok, so this might be long, but I need some advice please.
Oh, and this isn't an 'omg, facebook' thing - I am not even on it, I think it's all a bit daft!
I am 15 weeks pregnant with my second child. This child is from a new marriage and my first child is a lot older. Only dh and my PIL know at the moment.
I have three older half sisters who, to be frank, were pretty toxic while I was growing up and were pretty uncaring and generally nasty after my mother died when I was 10 (they were in their late 20's at the time). There are other issues too, but to cut it short, I cut them from my life ten years ago and have never looked back. I will never be in touch with them again.
My father, however, although 80 is an avid facebook user and has them as friends, despite them ignoring him for years (their real father was abusive to them and my mother, my mother left him and when she met my father he brought them all up and did everything for them).
He is also 'friends' on facebook with my ex husband, who was also abusive. I spared my dad details of the abuse so as not to hurt him. When I finally left, ex h turned my father against me by lying that he's left me as I'd had affairs. We have never been the same since, and I will never forgive him for believing ex over me. They talked about me behind my back, my father would tell me this, it hurt me so much.
As far as I know, my half sisters do not know that I left ex or that I am remarried. Like I said, they pretty much ignore my dad. I don't want them to know anything about my life.
I don't want them to know about my new pregnancy. I don't want my ex husband to know yet either. The only reason I am holding off on telling my ds is that he will tell his father. My life will then be made hell with long rambling emails about how it will effect ds, what he can do to help etc - which I know to some might sound good, but he is the one who has an appalling relationship with ds, he puts his new wife and her children above him all the time (he has even told ds that they come first in his life) so it's all just rubbish but will cause me stress.
Ds will be over the moon about the baby, he and my dh have a wonderfully close relationship and we are a strong family unit, but ex will, as he always does, stick his nose in and make things stressful. To add a bit of background, we moved house last year. Ex h set up a meeting, behind my back, with ds school to discuss the implications of a house move emotionally on ds and if he would need counselling. We were moving two roads away and ds was staying at the same school. The head then called me in to say how bizarre she found it all. It was really odd. If he's like that with a house move, christ knows what his perceived problems surrounding my much planned for and happy pregnancy will be.
So, my I know my father will put things about the baby on Facebook when he knows about the pregnancy/the baby is born.
I don't want my ex finding out before I am ready and I certainly don't want my half sisters to know.
To be honest, I don't really trust my father not to talk to these people about me behind my back anyway, he has done in the past, so maybe they already know more about me (my father told my ex that dh and I were engaged the day we were going to tell ds in the evening, despite us asking him not to say anything to anyone, so I don't trust him, sadly).
My father likes to play the doddering old man card whenever he is pulled up on anything, he's far from it, so it's infuriating. I have asked him not to put things on facebook before, yet I know he put up my wedding photo, and then he insists that my half sisters do not know I have remarried, then says he can't remember doing it, he's old and doesn't know how these things work (which is not true).
It's a mess and is making what should be a very happy time stressful.
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Relationships
Elderly father, estranged relatives, ex husband, pregnancy and Facebook
Liv24 · 27/09/2013 13:41
Unfortunately it sounds like you won't be able to stop your DF from 'sharing' info on FB - only by stringing out the actual informing him, you might prolong others finding out.
I wouldn't be happy in your position, if you wanted anything broadcast over FB then I assume you'd open an account and do it yourself.
Your ex sounds like a dick! Ignore, Ignore, Ignore (easier said than done, I know) but it's got absolutely, 100% NOTHING to do with him.
Tell your Ds in your own time, just make sure he doesn't hear 2nd hand though and try to relax and enjoy your pregnancy feck em all
Congratulations btw 
Sweety you shouldn't be forced by guilt to have a relationship with anyone that you don't want to have one with nor anyone who doesn't deserve you to.
Have you seriously thought about cutting him out of your life before?
Have you had any counselling for the abuse from your childhood?
He's using the threat of suicide to keep you tied to him and from what you've said (and what I interpret it to mean 
) you don't owe him anything.
You sound so stressed about your ex.
it's for the best ds stays with him when its born etc
Ha! tell him to fuck the fuck off - wild horses won't keep your Ds away from his tiny db/ds (possibly for a night or two if said DbabyS/DbabyB keeps him awake :) )
Honestly- simply tell him you understand that he may be concerned about his son but there's no reason to be. If he persists threaten him with the police/solicitor to keep him and his bullshit away from you.
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