Left my EA husband a year ago.
I'm in another relationship - for a while - it's casual but wonderful.
Both scarred from awful marriages and neither of us wants to find The One but we don't want no sex/affection now or ever. It's deepening a bit and we are close but both want to keep it casual; our lives couldn't mix and don't cross over (met on net).
I live in a small, conservative gossipy town. Dh and I lived in a particularly toxic 'posh' area before the separation - and I never go out without seeing someone I know.
Dh didn't want to split but was on Guardian Soulmates months ago (dd asked me what it was as she saw). He's not on there any more as I looked. He can rarely swap nights each of us has the kids. If he's seeing someone I'm glad.
My problems are these...
I'm not divorced and finances are still tied up though we haven't disagreed about them - yet. I want to be friends with him in the future and it's getting better.
I don't want to hurt/humiliate Dh or rile him if he found out (jealous type)
New man and I are both busy people (it's always evenings at mine as he travels and I don't)
When we see each other it's lots of fantastic sex :) and we stay in.
All this is fine for me. But I would like to go out sometimes for a drink or dinner, too.
He's attractive and a bit of me would like to show him off. Why? Because I know some people think I'm sad and desperate and after their crappy husbands. Some little weasel tried to kiss me at a wedding I was at alone, his wife in another room. I hadn't flirted or given him the come on either, he's disgusting. It was horrible and I felt traumatised.
I want to go out and enjoy a nice meal with my bloke and I kind of want us to be seen in some ways but in other ways the idea terrifies me.
This is all very waffly - sorry - but I didn't want to drip feed.
WWYD? And has anyone been in this situation? Such mixed feelings :(
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New relationship and the local gossips
12 replies
Shapechanger · 07/09/2013 15:24
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