Hello, posted quite a lot recently, your advice always helps:) I left my h couple months ago, I filed for divorce and was hoping we could remain in the home for dcs sake - apparently not, he hit the roof when he received petition and spent two weeks being spiteful and nasty to me then finally pushed me over in front of dcs:( since leaving I have thought alot about our relationship and wonder if if have done the right thing. I was on my own with dcs most of the time, I am sahm and did everything for them but he wouldn't even get up to do breakfast once in awhile when he had a day off, I got up at night when needed,i did bed and bath time while he sat at computer or watching tv,school runs were me even if he was off. When i was ill i was left to continue, even after a operation:(He expected me to organise what we were doing if he was off then complained I organised him and told him what to do. I was unhappy for a while and tried many times to talk to him but I was either moaning,shouting or lecturing so eventually I stopped:( sex was expected, he would want it at 4am sometimes and if I gave in it would be ok but if not he would turn his back cross leaving me to getup for dcs while he went back to sleep, then he would wonder why I was tired and going to bed early at night. He has clipped me round the head once for not wanting it, punched holes in a wall and generally could get quite cross, this didnt help. I got up in the mornings with the children and went to bed alone while he would often be up til the early hours playing on the computer or watching tv. Over the years there were some incidents involving violence, never anything really awful and not regularly but they happened, it was my fault for pushing him too far apparently, usually when it was something he perhaps didnt want to hear and was the truth. He did nothing to improve our relationship, any changes never lasted and he would say things but rarely meant what he said. In the end I had enough, it was a really hard decision to make, he has refused to accept any responsibility and is blaming me entirely, he is a victim, I find this hard, since we left I find I am unable to speak to him other than what's necessary, I see no point in talking to someone who pretends nothing has happened and is pleasant to my face, but refuses to accept any responsibility for where we are today. My future is very unknown atm, he is in our family home and has no intention of leaving. not sure what I am asking. It it has helped to write it down, thank you for reading
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Wise words please, I think:(
10 replies
fairiesatthebottomofthegarden · 07/09/2013 09:36
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