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having a moan

2 replies

doughnut44 · 01/09/2013 20:19

I have a good friend who is on her own with her daughter. I have known her all my life. Our daughters are the same age. we did have a period where we lost touch but that is because her ex was a nasty little man and wouldn't let her see her friends or family. when they split up I was always there for her and brought them into my family. I supported her through everything she has been through, quite often to the annoyance of my partner. if I am doing something with my daughter I always invite her or if I see anything our daughters would like I let her know. my problem with her is that she never reciprocates. she will do something with her daughter but not tell me about it. For instance she knew I was looking for a Minnie mouse case for our recent trip to Disney Paris but couldn't find one. She turned up at the airport with one for her daughter. why couldn't she have told me that she had seen one (she bought it about 3 days before we went). she enrolled her daughter in dance classes but didn't tell me. I only found out when I mentioned to her I had found a class. don't get me wrong I know she is entitled to do what she wants with her child but she is so secretive it's annoying. The most upsetting thing is that her daughter is really spoilt. mum and dad have what seems like a competition to see who can do the most exciting things with her. so far this year she has been to Disney, alton towers, lightwater valley and the Harry Potter place. she has also been to other exciting things such as zoos, theatres and cinema trips all the time. her grandparents also spoil her because she is an only child and her mum and dad are divorced. When we are together the daughter talks to her mum like dirt and is so naughty. The daughter still gets loads of treats. I feel so awful for my daughter as although she is not perfect she is pretty good but she doesn't get all these treats. for instance to me if they go to the theatre that is the treat. I don't want to be buying souvenirs too. They are overpriced and end up on the floor unplayed with. It's not about the money. It's about the expectation.
anyway that's my moan. thanks

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TheWookiesWife · 02/09/2013 18:06

Oh dear ! Maybe some time apart might help ?!? Wait for her to make the next move ! It sounds like she's feeling guilty about her Daughter growing up with divorced parents - and so is overdoing the 'spoiling ' as is the rest of the family - let's hope they realise before they create a pretentious monster !!!!

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JustinBsMum · 02/09/2013 21:43

In the end 'spoilt' children usually end up ok. And unspoilt children who don't get taken here there and everywhere turn out ok too, or even better.

My DCs never went to Disneyworld - because I didn't want to go and the stuff I did do with them, taking them to swimming lessons, netball practice, etc gave them a great start in life without constant treats.

Imo many kids get too much nowadays, really, will they appreciate trips out if they do them all the time, much better once or twice a year. Sounds like it's time you looked out for a new friend.

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