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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Off To Find The Summer Sun and Sobriety!

999 replies

Mouseface · 05/08/2013 22:38

Hello, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the Bus, take a seat and enjoy the ride. We're a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers, those who are trying to give up for life, those who are giving up for a few hours because that's all that they can manage (which is fine!) or quitting just for today......

We don't wear Judgey Pants (they're far too last year darhling Wink) but we have hugs a plenty and tough love when it's needed. Which isn't often!

So, what have you got to lose? If you're reading this, you're thinking that you are no longer happy with the way you drink, which tells me that this is the Bus for you. :)

If you'd like to see where we've been so far and what we've been up to, take a peek HERE

And if you want to knnow why we're here in the first place, take a look at THIS THREAD RIGHT HERE :)

See you soon x

OP posts:
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dementedma · 05/08/2013 23:00

Woo hoooo - nobody here yet.

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Anneisnotmyname · 06/08/2013 06:59

Morning all, sorry mouse but im taking an early seat on the bus. After finally getting on I don't want to miss it!

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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 09:56
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lonnika · 06/08/2013 10:02

Morning :)

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greeneyed · 06/08/2013 10:31

Morning all.

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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 10:38
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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 10:57

Green What did you decide to do re: your Mother? Sorry, just got back from holiday and haven't been keeping up with the thread much. x

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greeneyed · 06/08/2013 11:28

Hi purple i just don't think I have the balls to say anything. Still thinking about it. What do you think?

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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 11:34

Hi Mouse Thanks for the good advice/support re: DD and the comments about me coping with it all on my own. Being a single mum of 3 is, I have to admit, far harder than I had anticipated. XP didn't do much around the house but if nagged continually asked nicely, he would do the garden, car, pick up stuff from the shops, take the bins out ect. DD was fine after that little outburst. Smile How are you and Nemo?

Thanks, too, to Thurso and Pervy for your own childhood experiences. When I was DD's age, I couldn't behave in that way. I've read somewhere that if/when children kick off like that it shows they feel 'safe' to do so (note: this info does not help in the heat of the moment!) and know they won't be abandoned or pushed away - which is why I never did it. Maybe it shows I'm a better parent than either of mine were.

XP turned up on the Friday. The children's faces when they saw him was tear-inducing! It was really great having him there and not awkward at all (except maybe when DS2 suggested he vacated the double bed we'd been sharing and XP and I share it! Body swerved that one by exclaiming "I'm not sharing with him - he snores!!"). He paid for lots of stuff and cooked and cleaned up, too. He was blown away by North Wales. He'd never been and used the word 'stunning' - a lot!

Had a totally fab holiday! We've all come back with a tan - and I even managed to burn a bit - in Wales??!! (DC didn't burn) I was so worried I wouldn't have enough money for DC and I to enjoy being away - but we did fine. The weather was gorgeous for 8 out of the 10 days so beaches and walking were free great adventures. I even swam in the sea - twice!! I had planned to come home thinner, healthier and in a positive frame of mind. Unfortunately, the first two haven't quite panned out but I am feeling pretty up.

Looking forward to catching up with everyone over the next few days. How are you Ma and Baby? And where is Joey?

Hugs all round! x

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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 11:38

X post - sorry Green. Have you spoken to your siblings about it? Are they concerned? Can you take her shopping (away from your Dad) and casually bring the subject up (sorry, that's stupid - how can you bring something so sensitive up 'casually'!) Does she know about your struggles with alcohol? If so, maybe you could start the conversation about your own worries and battle? x

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Pawprint · 06/08/2013 11:50

Just checking in :)

After a bad week of drinking every night (last week until last night) I have thrown all my wine away. Nothing in house. It seems that this is the only way I can stay off the booze...

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babyjane1 · 06/08/2013 12:41

Good morning super babes, I will NC everyone later, heading out uniform shopping with a 14 year old dd, will be a stressful day me thinks!! I have decided I need to get out more in the evening, my 2 year old does not go down til all hours and stress and boredom are big triggers so as I used to be a dancing teacher (many moons ago) so I've found an adult tap class and I'm also back to slimming world tonight, it's a good plan and the ladies are great, ironically when I first joined I went into the wrong room by mistake, it was the AA meeting, oh the irony, truth is If they ran back to back I reckon attendance would be booming us "net curtain drinkers" are usually dieting fiends also, (wine is very fattening) I just want to say a massive welcome to chippit, honey I could have written your post myself, you will get so much support here and feel much less scared about the future, I promise you. purple glad to have you back all bronzed and full of enthusiasm. Love to all babes today x x x ps also getting hair done this week, I can here the swishing already x x x

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lonnika · 06/08/2013 13:12

hi I am also uniform shopping today Baby - hair ready to swish now so bring it on !

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Ladame · 06/08/2013 13:16

Hi all brave babes
Move over Ma and Purps (I've got chocolate Grin )
Day 3/7 for me.

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chippit · 06/08/2013 13:30

Thanks babyjane. I appreciate your words of support. Isn't it odd that a stranger's compassion can bring so much comfort? Humans are indeed a funny bunch. I feel okay today, slowly emerging from the raggedy edges of a 3 day hangover. I really did a number on myself at the weekend and it's shocked me into action. My first counsellor session is on Friday. Have no idea what to expect, but it'll be nice just to tell the truth without (too much) judgement. I may tap dance in to the appointment...

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babyjane1 · 06/08/2013 14:02

chippit when I first typed the words "I drink to much wine" into google I was desparate and very very lonely and thank god for our lovely mouse who keeps this thread alive, i found this bus. whilst I'm still battling the wine witch I have the support and affection of these wonderful babes and realise I'm not alone, you will feel this too!! Anyway enough sop I'm off to shop x x x

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babyjane1 · 06/08/2013 14:16

chippit when I first typed the words "I drink to much wine" into google I was desparate and very very lonely and thank god for our lovely mouse who keeps this thread alive, i found this bus. whilst I'm still battling the wine witch I have the support and affection of these wonderful babes and realise I'm not alone, you will feel this too!! Anyway enough sop I'm off to shop x x x

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Ladame · 06/08/2013 15:43

Chippit Hi you. It's safe on this bus, our fantastic mouse makes sure of it. Plus we all care about each other, no-one judges. You can say that you're doing fine, you can say that you've f**cked up, you can say that you're a bit down and not doing so well ... you can say anything and I guarantee you, one, if not all of us, will understand. Good luck for your counselling session.

I'm day three, as I said earlier. Always a problem for me, day three, because I feel so much better. Calmer, less anxious, more in control, which makes me think ... you know what, I can manage this ok - and the next thing you know I've got my paws round a bottle of wine and groundhog day will begin again tomorrow. I've got to break the cycle and at least get to bloody day four.

All babes have a good evening and be kind to yourselves x

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venusandmars · 06/08/2013 16:05

purple I'm with you on the childhood experience - my dm has recently died so it's not easy to write about her, but when I was growing up I was taught to be 'good' child - who didn't storm or fight or argue... but it wasn't because I was good, it was because I was scared that if I disagreed with my Mum then she would stop loving me Sad

So however tough it is when our dc fight with us, I am somehow glad that they feel safe enough to not agree with me.

But it sounds like you had a lovely holiday - that's the kind of stuff that childhood memories are made of, they will remember glorious summer days in Wales (and I bet when they are grown up they'll take their own kids there).

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ThisIsMyTime · 06/08/2013 17:00

Hello peeps day 2 stressed as hell for interview but feeling ok hope all babes are well welcome chippit

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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 17:21

Venus Thank you Lovely! I have tears in my eyes after reading your post. Sorry for the loss of your Mother recently. My Dad hasn't made any effort for me or my children despite years of me trying to keep/make a connection. I have no idea how I'll feel when he dies (he's 84-ish) but it will mean that he'll never appear on my doorstep to tell me he loves me and he's sorry he didn't stick up for me all those years. Philip friggin Larkin was so right. I was always 'in the way', both with my Mother - who suffered from overwhelming depression, serial bad boyfriends and alcoholism and then, when she died when I was 12, was a very unwelcome 'surprise' for my step mother (who ruled my Father with an iron rod) from 12 to 17. My self-worth was zero. Thank you, too, for your comments about DC wanting to go back. I'm impressed and amazed that they love the place and the experiences that I organise for them. We are better parents! For me - not perfect - but better is good. I guess we're on here because we are trying to be the best we can. Don't think my parent gave a shit about the repercussions of their actions. xx

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lonnika · 06/08/2013 17:30

Lovely thoughts and words on here today

Just wanted to share - but you may think I am bonkers so please bear with me.

Today I have noticed that we have birds nesting in our roof - this has happened before (both times I was pregnant actually).

For me this kind of symbolises my second chance in life - it feels like someone is telling me that all is going to br ok (bonkers maybe ?). Anyway had made me feel calm and peaceful inside. It may sound mad bit it just feels like a new start to me.

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PervyMuskrat · 06/08/2013 18:33

Takes place on bus and waves hello to everyone and a special welcome wave to chippit. Hope to be back later once DS has finally eaten his dinner and I've rinsed the gravy off his hair!

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GladToBeBack · 06/08/2013 19:16

Slopes back onto the bus



And whispers - it's me Silver

There is a long and very positive story to tell about what happened during the time I have been away - but you know what - I overestimated my recovery and, I have predictably slipped back into the hell hole that is addiction.

I am ok and doing soooo much better than is time last year.

I have followed the thread all of that time, but couldn't bring myself to post because I knew I wouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't want to follow up my posts. So I stayed silent.

I can't promise that I will post again after this , but I need this bus and I need to get over myself and embrace the warmth and love that has always been here

Most of you won't have a clue who I am - but I can say with total certainly that this bus can only ever help your quest to achieve, whatever it is you want to do - cut down, stop, abstiain completely.

Also you shOuld be asking your GP about baclofen.

it is a drug that has saved me. Xx

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PurpleWolfe · 06/08/2013 19:43

Sending Silver - aka Glad, an enormous hug! Please keep posting. You know that the bus is totally non judgemental and always welcoming. Don't make the mistake I have in thinking that you can only post positive stuff once you appear to have got a hold on this vicious nasty problem. You've done an amazing job re-posting. Stay with us all and let us give you the understanding and support that will help you. The only failure is to give up trying to give up. xxxx

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