my husband has, for various reasons which i understand, has 3 phones, but only uses ones. recently my daughter lost her phone and i asked my husband if she could borrow the oldest of the 2 phones he no longer used. His initial reply was that he did not know where it was, which seemed normal and feasible. so i looked for it and could not find it in the house, although i found the charger. about 1 day later he brought it home from work and said that he had forgotten that he had left it in the car as an emergency telephone. now at this point i thought that seemed odd, since one of us always has a phone with us when in the car in case of emergency...but i didnt consider why this had been said to me. After giving it my daughter to use my husband then kept asking me if everything was okay, that he thought i seemed distant...none of this was true...but combined with the phone appearing and his overdue worrying about me , it made me wonder if the 2 were connected. I accessed the bills on line for the phone and found that he had been texting, during work hour,s a number that i know is not in his or our friendship group, sometimes up to 6 to 7 times a day.
I want to ask him about this, but feel that he would think that i was distrustful and that it would annoy him. however my instincts keep reminding me that something is not adding up.
Shall i try to recover any deleted text messages and see for myself ..or should i ask him who the number is.
ps i have rang the number on several occassions and it just goes to answermachine
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
is it ok to snoop on husbands texts
mpi · 03/08/2013 08:20
Unfortunately if you ask him, and if there is something amiss he will deny everything and delete the messages. So sadly if you want to know you will have to try and recover some messages. Are the texts recent ..?
If you can see some of the messages and they're to a work colleague about a golf tournament or something then you just don't say anything, but if they're the, "was lovely to see you again, night night you", type then that's completely different and u will have to ask him.
You must have your evidence first though, sorry, as he will deny, delete then minimise. 
Follow your gut feeling, it's rarely wrong! Whatever the texts are, it doesn't spell the end necessarily. But you cannot live with the uncertainty. You need to know the truth around the texts or you will make up a story in your head that's probably far worse than the truth 
Morning OP. hope you're ok. I'm just having a 
and thought of you.....
Have you tried adding the number to your contacts then adding your phone contacts to facebook. There's an option on FB to do this, can't remember how exactly but if you look you'll see it. All of your contacts who are not FB friends come up in a list. The number may appear along with a nice little pic....
However, I think that it may be her (if it is ow) second phone too which is why you get no answer as its either finished or she knows they may have been compromised.
Does he have a work phone..? Can you check any of the other bills online, sorry if this has already been suggested!
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.