We had a female friend to stay with us for a couple of nights recently who is mostly a friend of DHs. She is divorced and a bit of a party animal. We see her about once a year.
On Saturday,her second night staying with us, we all went to a bbq and everyone got very merry. When we returned to the house at 10pm, I decided to stay home and put the kids to bed (12 yr olds). My DH and this woman went to the pub to carry on partying (I encouraged this as I wanted to go to bed). I woke up at 1am with my DH coming into the room to kiss me goodnight and I fell straight back asleep, assuming he was coming to bed.
About 15 minutes later, I sensed that he wasn't in bed so I got up to search for him. He was nowhere to be found in the house (or garden) I looked at the guest bedroom door and thought: NO! So I opened the door and gave them both the shock of their lives! He was sitting on the floor beside her bed about 4 feet away with his robe on and she was lying in bed naked under the covers. He immediately stood up and clutched his robe around him as if he was hiding something. I couldn't see. If he hadn't reacted that way, I would have thought that they were just chatting.
I basically went ballistic. I tore the covers off her (she was naked but - she always sleeps naked so nothing special there) and started screaming at them both to get out of the house. I then had a physical encounter with my DH in our bedroom across the hall during which I punched him in the eye (not proud of this). I was so upset and worried that I'd woken the kids that I went immediately to make sure they were asleep. They were all ok. I sat outside for two hours thinking my relationship was over. I went back upstairs to confront him but he was fast asleep in a stupor so I dragged the bedclothes off him and went to sleep in the living room.
The next morning, after he woke up freezing, he came into the living room to find me (he had the beginnings of a major shiner) all bewildered as to what had happened. When I told him, he pretty much almost threw up. I was crying hysterically (with a nose bleed too, - nice!) and he was full of remorse and practically sobbing saying that he couldn't believe he had done something like that. I know he doesn't fancy her so it's nothing like that. He says he has no idea how he came to be in her room. I think she called him into her room after he brushed his teeth and things went from there. I certainly don't believe that he went in there unbidden.
We stayed in the bedroom talking with him trying to reassure me. He went into her room and asked her to leave at about 6am but she was so hungover that she couldn't move and was totally passed out. We stayed in our room talking and she eventually did leopard crawl out of the house sometime later so we never saw her again.
I am playing this over and over in my mind. Nothing happened. But it could have happened. He is full of remorse and if anything, is more loving and caring than ever. I know he doesn't fancy her. He has agreed that she is never welcome in our lives again. I have forgiven him but I have not forgotten. He has also had to go to work with a black eye for which I am (mostly) sorry. She sent me a facebook message to say that she was sorry that a lovely weekend ended that way.
I have de-friended her.
I think I should just forget about but it's eating away at me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
What would you make of this?
Cutitup · 30/07/2013 20:48
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.