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My husband is having an affair - now what?

(52 Posts)
Fireplaces Tue 30-Jul-13 20:18:46

Have name changed.

I just found out that my husband of ten years is having an affair. It looks like its the end of our marriage. As well as the emotionally impact on me, I am being kept awake by the by financial implications of my future. Namely, how on earth do I, as a SAHM, manage to pay the mortgage and bills after a split?

I am so worried and would be grateful for some advice from those who have been through it.

Some background; I am a SAHM and have been since our children were born. DH works for a top rate salary. We are in a house that is in both our names, and the mortgage is too. I paid half the deposit , and some mortgage when I was working, although the house was always way more than my salary alone could afford. Now I am a SAHM, my DH pays the mortgage and bills.

If we split, I understand that I can stay in the house while my children are in education, but who would pay the mortgage? There's no way I can pay it on my own....I have no income. I will get a job, but my salary will be a quarter of my husband's and will still not be able to pay the mortgage, let alone food, clothing for children, utilities etc. Would my husband have to pay, even if he wasn't living there? Or would we have to sell the house? (50% of the equity would not pay for another house anywhere around here). Or is there another way that provides the house for the stay at home mother looking after the children?

I am sorry if this is lengthy. My head is all over the place. I would be very grateful for some help here.

NeedlesCuties Wed 31-Jul-13 15:36:58

You've been given some great advice here, OP.

Sorry you're in this situation, but you seem like you have your head screwed on well, so I think you'll be ok in the long-run.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 31-Jul-13 15:45:49

So sorry, just re-read the thread, saw this,
in 90% of the cases straying husbands come back to the wife

I don't know if this is true, if so, do all the wives want them back?
Of those men, how many will cheat again?

If we are accepting figures off the Internet I read that 86% of those men are confronted with evidence by their partners still lie.

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