Just venting but also wondering what to do.
My BIL and family live overseas-not Europe, so a good distance away. My MIL has been in and out of hospital for many years when he lived in UK at the time, and since he relocated. He used to come to see her with his family roughly once every 2 years, but it's now over 2 years and she is increasingly frail- in hospital again now. He has a well paid job and we assume that finances are not the reason why he doesn't come to see her.
Meanwhile my DH is the one who has to do everything, despite having a very pressurised job which includes overseas and UK travel.
We live a long way from her too but we are in the UK. DH is the one making daily calls to carers, drs, hospital etc and handling the money side for her.
He also goes to see her - 4 hr drive- whenever he can.
He recently emailed my BIL ( about 10 days ago) to tell him she was in hospital again- and he hasn't even had a reply.
I am tempted to email him myself asking if he got the other email, and maybe saying something, tactfully, about his lack of contact and apparent concern- and the pressure it's putting DH under to do everything. We are the ones who get calls day and night when she's had a fall etc ( and I take the calls if DH is away so it impacts on me too) and is taken into hospital- and BIL cannot even pick up a phone to ask us how she is.
All our DCs are adults now so there is no reason I can think of that BIL doesn't pop over more often. I don't think it's my place to interfere, but at the same time I am the one supporting DH through the practical and emotional side of this- and of course when she does die, we are going to be the ones left to sort out everything.
What do you think?
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So annoyed with my BIL- would you contact?
21 replies
Ilovelettuce · 15/07/2013 09:13
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