Dp & i have been together 14 years. We have 3 dc. Last December i found out i was pregnant. Not planned but we were both happy, especially me.
Went for my 12 wk scan, no heartbeat, baby had been dead for 4 weeks. I was devastated. Totally fell apart. Had an ERPC. Dp didn't come to the hospital. He decided to tidy up after he dropped the dc to school. He never normally does. He eventually turned up at lunch time. I was waiting to be collected. Never in all my life did i feel so lonely. That was a Thursday. He had a long weekend off work. So didn't even take any time off. He went back to work on the Monday. No shopping in. No uniforms organised for dc. House a total tip.
I was so offended & angry at him. My mum & sister were equally useless. Ive actually cut contact with my sister & have very limited contact with my mum. I warned dp he'd be next.
Im pregnant again. Im 12 weeks this week. Im due to have my scan on Tuesday. I get the screening results Wed & depending on results, a CVS is booked for Thursday. Im 40 & its hospital policy but i would want a CVS if the results weren't good.
Dp has been utterly useless. After i gave him the warning after the MMC he dramatically improved. This last week & next week Im incredibly busy with work, dc, school stuff & hospital appointments. Dp mum has long term health problems & has had a relapse. I've spent most of Thursday in hospital with her & this afternoon &evening as she's very unwell but at home now. Dp has never taken on any of the issues around his mum's heath problems. I cared for her for 2 years, 9 months of that she was house bound.
Dp did Fuck all at home today. He literally brought a few bits of washing in off the line. No uniforms washed. Didn't cook. Didn't bath dc. Didn't tidy up. Went to the supermarket but bought doughnuts &ice cream. Yet i can't make the dc packed lunches as i didn't get to do the shopping as i was dealing with his mum.
He's so useless, I can't see it ever getting better. I instruct him like a child. I don't consider him my equal. I don't know if i expect too much. He works but its shifts so hes hardly here but it dosn't actually make much difference if he's here or not.
Im exhausted, worried & angry. I keep remembering how i felt at 12 weeks in the last pregnancy. I realise I've not forgiven dp, Im verging on feeling hate for him. I feel like he's taking the piss out of me & dosnt give a Shit about me or what Im feeling at the moment.
Should i just call it a day? When do you know its a lost cause? How can i make him take responsibility for things like his mum, dc, the house etc?
Thanks for reading...i know its long but i need to get this out as Im so angry right now.
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Relationships
The memories are so painful...he dosnt get it.
Shellywelly1973 · 15/07/2013 00:22
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