Hi,
Back story:
Myself and dh have been together over 20 years and have always got on like a house on fire. we have 3 dcs
Last yaer he said that he thought something was missing from our relationship but he wasn't sure what.
We discussed things and both made an effort to make it work.
All seemed ok until a few months ago when he announced that he didn't feel right, and wasn't sure if he still wanted to be married. Again he couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly was wrong, but said that if this was all there is to life then he doesn't want to spend his last few days doing this!
I got very frustrated and asked him what the hell he wanted and in the end after a row he said he would leave.
We were both devastated and he immediately begged to come back. I wasn't going to let him come back straight away as i needed to be sure things would work out. He vowed to put me and the kids first and make an effort ,saying that the faults in our marriage were all his. At first everything was great then quite quickly he started behaving in a way that made me feel second best. Going out with friends a lot. Not coming home when he said he would. Cancelling or almost cancelling atrrangements that we had together in favour of seeing mates.
Even when we went out together and I really enjoyed it, he would say is it just an act I'm putting on!
He has veered from you and the kids are my number one priority and I love nothing more than being with you, to: I really don't want to be tied down and want my freedom, without you.
Last week he made the decision to leave. I had booked an appointment at the doctors because I thought that there may be deep issues. The doctor diagnosed depression. She wanted dh to take medication. He didn't want to and left with a very vague plan of cognitive therapy.
This involves such things as walking for 1 hour a day.
I don't think dh will follow this. I have suggested to him to take the medication.
My question is: Is it the depression which has caused him to question whether he wants to be married and would allevaiting the depression bring him back to his former self?
I am asking this because right now I am stuff in a horrific limbo.
Is there any hope for us?
Or is it unlikely that he will not change even if/when the depression goes.
When we are together things are great if this throws any light on things
Thaks for reading all this.
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Relationships
Since leaving Dh has been diagnosed with depression. Has anyone been through this or have any advice?
feelingvunerable · 14/07/2013 22:18
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