I can't get over him - advice plz

[Ls271082]

Some of you may remember me from previous posts.

To cut a long story short - my bf left me about 2 months ago because I wouldn't have a convo with my ex husband about selling our martial home - saying it was becuase i wanted to keep ex hub as fall back and he went back to his ex wife. Following him leaving I had the convo he wanted and ex husband decided to rent out old house which bf took as me wanting to cut ties with ex hub. After crying loads, feeling horrendous and not wanting to go out i started to feel bit better. Bf been since sending texts pretty much every day until a week ago when it suddenly stopped and I don't know why.

I felt better, got all the texts and felt stronger knowing he was chasing me, him making an effort but since its stopped I feel awful again and feel lonely and depressed.

How can I get over him? He's not in my life anymore, chosen his ex over me. I'm 30 weeks preg and need to feel better before baby comes. I can't stop contact due to him being after of unborn baby.

Any advice appreciated

[Ls271082]

Not wanting to cut ties!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I'm sorry you've been treated so badly. It's horrible to feel rejected and it must be doubly so if you're expecting a baby. You can't force yourself to feel better overnight so be realistic about that. But you can and should cut contact completely. At the moment there is no baby and therefore he has no claim over you or anything to do with you. When the baby arrives he also has very few rights because you're unmarried - one of the times when that's an advantage - and because very tiny babies need 24/7 care. So you don't have to do anything there either, not even put him on the birth certificate. You might want to consider getting legal advice - CAB are very good - to reassure yourself about all of that.

Do you have anyone around you that you can be with? Family? Friends? And can you keep yourself busy? In the early days of a relationship breaking down it's important to have things to keep you occupied so that you give yourself as little time as possible to dwell and depress yourself.

[Xales]

I think his wife has found out he was constantly texting you and told him to cut it out!

How could you feel better? He was not chasing you. He was back with his wife. His texts to you were simply to keep his options open should it not work out with his wife.

Get a new number (and tell the people you trust) so he cannot contact you and put the old one in when you need to advise him of the birth and make contact arrangements.

You won't be forever waiting and hoping for a text from a married man then.

[GingerJulep]

Poor baby.

For his/her sake suggest you get advice about how to set up some suitable access. And leave the 'romantic' side out of it for now. Too many hormones flying around atm anyway.