All my family live 150 miles apart so we only see my S and her family about once a year, though we talk once a month on the phone. My B and SIL, we see about every two months or so, and I'm not too sure if you have seen my previous post, but we have asked many times to spend holidays and breaks with them but keep getting a blank response. Its as if we can be tolerated for a day or so, but thats it, even though they live next to my SIL's family and see them all the time, going on holidays and spending xmas etc, we never get asked or considered.
We live about 50 miles from my DH's family and see then a few times a year, but its mostly telephone contact, though I do feel a close bond to my SIL.
The big issue facing me now is that my DH is retiring in a years time and he will get a pay out, though not massive, it will be more than we have ever had and it has to last us and pay for things we have never been able to afford like home improvements etc. We have been married over 25 years and we have always had to manage or save up for what we have had, using an overdraft to tide us over each month.
He wants to go on a big family holiday for a week, with everyone invited and paid for, which will be 12 people altogether, and he is determined to do it.
The more I think about it, the more I feel that I don't want to spend so much money out, its not like having a massive lottery win. I don't think any of the family members would ever do the same and its not as if we will be rich by any means. I also don't think certain members should have so much spent on them, my BIL is one example as no one in the family has ever really got on with him and he has been mean in the past, especially to my late mum, who never forgave him for something he did. We have a simillar problem with my DH's BIL as he is a bad apple who has treated my SIL very very badly, and recently more things about him have come to light which are not good at all!
If you add all this to the fact that I have given up asking my DB to spend holidays with us, as at times it has made me feel really sad and not wanted, so I really don't fancy this family holiday at all. My DH has always been a generous man, even if he can't afford it, and I know for a fact that he will be offering to buy the drinks etc, once he has this money in his pocket. I have hinted at not wanting to do this holiday, but he got really annoyed and didn't want to discuss it. He did say that we won't invite the BIL's ( he doesn't care for either) but I don't see how we could possible do this. Opinions on this would be great please, as i'm sick of feeling this way and having a headache!
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Relationships
Husband wants to be generous, but I don't feel that we should!
sweetpud · 09/07/2013 12:18
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