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Relationships

Dead Bedroom

22 replies

cronullansw · 04/07/2013 01:57

There are so many threads on here about lack of sex, or too much, or the wrong type, or with the wrong person - and it's very sad.

Another, more male orientated, forum I frequent has similar tales of woe.

Ever heard of Reddit?, it's called the front page of the internet. It's mainly for younger people. but there are sub=reddits for conversations about pretty much anything, and there's one giving advice, from both genders, called - dead bedrooms.

Some might benefit from checking it out, I hope you find a trip over there worthwhile;

www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/

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Keepithidden · 04/07/2013 08:17

Thanks Cron, definitely a resource worth exploring for me.

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JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 04/07/2013 08:22

Blimey. Isn't it sad. Having read just a few of those it is clear just how much the constant rejection by a partner can make you depressed or kill your self-esteem. As someone who has been there, so much of that site is registering with me. And, very often, it seems clear that one partner is doing all the right things for whatever reason their partner claims to have for not wanting to be intimate but it makes no odds.

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YoniBottsBumgina · 04/07/2013 08:27

Reddit is a pile of sexist bum, mainly.

I appreciate it's extremely upsetting to be rejected constantly but nobody has the right to another person's body. It's not someone's fault if they don't feel like sex, unless they're specifically doing it to manipulate.

I haven't read this particular forum but Reddit in general is a bit Hmm although I can see you mean well.

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cronullansw · 04/07/2013 09:45

Well Yoni, if you haven't checked it out, you can keep your 'sexist bum' opinion and promote as much as you want, I'm sure it makes sense.

''I haven't read it but I think it's sexist.'' :)

The point is, UK Males, UK Females and now I learn, heaps of mainly American youngsters of both genders, are all reporting a common theme.

And it's sad.

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Boosterseat · 04/07/2013 10:29

Isnt Reddit where underage kids have been posting half naked on "Reddit gone wild"

Hmm

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YoniBottsBumgina · 04/07/2013 10:40

I've read lots of Reddit and it has all been without exception sexist.

What's the common theme? That people are starting to realise they have a choice about saying no to sex? That it's becoming less acceptable to have sex on someone when they aren't interested?

If you are not happy in your relationship then the relationship is, effectively, over. We need to stop being so afraid of breaking up/"being alone" and just say it as it is. It's simple. If you're not happy in a relationship, then being in that relationship helps no-one. Children don't benefit from their parents staying together in an unhappy marriage because they don't want to put them through divorce.

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cronullansw · 05/07/2013 05:43

You've got it Booster.

Like ITV had a topless girl on it the other night, so don't watch anything else that they ever broadcast = same difference.

Yoni, as I said, the threads I keep seeing here, on other more male orientated forums and on reddit /dead bedrooms are actually pretty similar - in spite of age or gender. It's sad and appears to be much more prevalent than people generally think.

Or are people just talking about it more?

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Boosterseat · 05/07/2013 09:36

Was it an underage girl Cron or an over 18?

So its not really the same now is it?

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cronullansw · 05/07/2013 22:29

Ok Booster, so you now reckon that in addition to being sexist, Reddit is now a hive of child porn.

At least I'm laughing here.

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Boosterseat · 06/07/2013 16:03

I never said sexist, please read your own thread properly.

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Boosterseat · 06/07/2013 16:04

And it isn't child porn by the way

It's child abuse.

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Keepithidden · 06/07/2013 18:34

Had a long old look, I'm a regular lurker on talkaboutmarriage and experienceproject too. There is some sexism, but no porn or child abuse that I noticed on any of these specific fora.

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cronullansw · 07/07/2013 00:07

Please be careful keepithidden, you aren't really allowed to point out that /deadbedrooms might be legitimate - you should let the sexist / child abuse opinions continue, even although they haven't checked out /deadbedrooms and don't know what they are talking about.

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Boosterseat · 07/07/2013 09:28

sigh

Apologies for not codoning a site which allows users to post "jailbait" photographs and "creep shots"

Whilst I am sure there are plenty of wonderful resources on Reddit where people like yourself are in good company.

I am only trying to balance opinion as there may be some mumsnet users who would be uncomfortable giving that website traffic.

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cronullansw · 10/07/2013 09:25

''People like yourself...''

Go on Booster, please do explain what you mean by this.

Btw, I was unaware of the jail bait and creep shot so I checked Reddit for some sub reddits/ of the topics you mention - there aren't any. There IS mention of jail bait, eg; ''there's a shop near me selling jail bait t-shirts, this is wrong' and others criticising Miley Cyrus for dressing like jail bait.

You sure you got the right bias here?

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Boosterseat · 10/07/2013 10:46

People who are having a tough time with sex of course.

Whatever did you think i meant?

I will not link the site, however a quick google of Reddit and creepshots should get you there buddy.

There are "rules" about no schoolgirl shots unless you can confirm they are not minors so its great to see ethics are being practiced, how wrong i was about reddit. Hmm

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cronullansw · 10/07/2013 21:28

Darling Booster, thanks for your concern, but I'm not having a tough time with sex, so thanks for making another inaccurate assumption.

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Boosterseat · 11/07/2013 09:09

Well thank you too Cron, it?s so lovely to know you?re on here kindly pointing people who are in need in the right direction.

Apologies for assuming you had or have been having sexual difficulties, you see as you post on a fair few sexual problem posts one assumed you must have been there done that.

Or perhaps you enjoy the misery Hmm or is that the cynical woman in me? Probably, I can?t imagine it would ever be your problem.

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HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 11/07/2013 10:46

If you don't know enough about Reddit to know about the major r/jailbait and r/creepshots scandals, cron, I'm not sure why you're so invested in it that you'd defend it elsewhere.

Some subreddits are very good but many small ones are utter cesspools (they only banned r/niggers last month) and the mainstream ones frequently upvote sexist, racist, disablist bullshit.

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differentnameforthis · 11/07/2013 11:47

I don't understand your reasons for posting here, you are refusing to engage in any debate about it (unless being agreed with) by shooting back smart remarks to anyone who dares not agree with you.

I for one am happy that people are not having sex they don't want! Long gone should be the days when the "loyal wife" lays back & thinks of England while her entitled dh pumps away at her, or the newly wed who has decided that she CAN say no so soon after taking vows. Or the hard working dh just needs to sleep, not perform on tap as his dw so desires.

Those posts are ONE side of what happens behind closed doors & I for one am not going to judge or pour over anyone else's relationship when I am not privvy to both sides. I need just a little more than an ill thought out whine by one half of the couple.

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cronullansw · 12/07/2013 05:36

Ha ha!!

I've never claimed to be a reddit expert, I was pointed to deadbedrooms and I saw an commonality between teens and here.

I stupidly thought some might be open minded enough to have considered other peoples positions.

And it strikes me that Reddit is in many ways like a regular search engine - if you seek then you shall find, so maybe it might be wrong for you guys to use google too. I did honeslty have no idea of the 'cesspool' styllee sub reddits.

And Booster, I often post on sex threads as I find I can understand them better, as I'm too often completely baffled beyond words on many occasions in the relationship threads that just do not have any sense of logic in them.

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Boosterseat · 12/07/2013 09:48

To quote your fine self

" even although they haven't checked out /deadbedrooms and don't know what they are talking about. "

Neither do you, by your own admission.

Are we done here?

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