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I dont think I am going to be able to forgive this

(137 Posts)
Namechangingnorma Sun 30-Jun-13 16:09:43

I found out this morning that I have had a miscarriage, we saw the heartbeat last week, then I bled a little, we went for a scan this morning and no heartbeat. We got home and H decided to go to his mates, a couple of hours later I rang him as wanted to discuss options, I have decided to go in for a d&c tomorrow. He refused to talk and won't come home, was watching grand prix at one mates house and has now gone to another. i feel totally abandoned, this is not what marriage is meant to be about, he thinks its ok. i know he is upset too, but I really need support right now, I just don't know if I am ever going to get over him leaving me when I needed him the most, i know he isnt good at handling things. i dont know what to think, help.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 01-Jul-13 19:18:45

Yes, it's true, you married this man for a reason. I'm guessing it was because you thought he was nice. However, it has now become apparent that he is not. All bets are off and it's up to you what you want to do about it. It's not just what he said, but that he was even thinking that way. You've only been married a year, you should be the centre of his universe. Instead you're being dismissed as a failed incubator of his precious sperm. Was that really what marriage was supposed to be about?

You have all my sympathy, but whilst I really really hope you do have a baby (or several!) in future, I also have to admit to hoping it will be with a better prospective father. This one is wired wrong.

Itaintmebabeitaintmeyourlookin Mon 01-Jul-13 22:23:42

Hope all has gone ok today and you are comfortable and being well looked after

cees Mon 01-Jul-13 22:31:30

I'm so sorry norma, I hope your safely tucked up and being looked after my your Mum.

Your husband is beyond cruel and selfish, you deserve so much more. Don't put up with it, he is a pig.

Itaintmebabeitaintmeyourlookin Mon 01-Jul-13 22:44:34

Oh and this is very common so no blaming of anyone least of all yourself to be done

Ridiculous comment of carrying my baby... As if we are just receptacles to carry babies for our superior menfolk!!

Namechangingnorma Tue 02-Jul-13 09:41:41

hi all, quick update, I am out and fine, bar a bit of pain. Unfortunately things got a lot worse the other night, i dont really have the strength to go into it now as I cant yet face reading the responses. I am now home, H apologised obviously and has had it made abundently clear how stupid, ignorant and cruel his comments were. i have made it clear i am not ready to discuss the future of our marriage yet, I want a couple of days to recover first.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 02-Jul-13 09:46:47

Didn't expect to hear from you so soon, for now just rest, take very good care of yourself OP.

skyeskyeskye Tue 02-Jul-13 09:51:05

Yes, just look after yourself, keep H at arms length until you are ready to deal with him.

AnyFucker Tue 02-Jul-13 09:53:18

Hope you are ok physically, norma. Please, when you are feeling better, think very carefully about whether this man is even fit to lick your boots. He sounds horrendous, and I think you have been overlooking how bad he is actually is for some time. Only a couple of days ago you were singing his praises on another thread, and then he treats you like he thinks you are a piece of shit.

Shame on him.

Fozziebearmum2be Tue 02-Jul-13 20:58:03

Look after yourself - big hugs thanks

Take care and you do right to rest first.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Fri 05-Jul-13 15:00:53

Norma have been thinking of you today, and so really appreciate you taking the time to come back and update us with everything you are going through.

Do come back and talk to us further when you've got the strength - we're all here to listen to you. Take care lovely x

sameoldIggi Mon 15-Jul-13 20:01:48

Namechangingnorma, I don't know if you're still checking this thread but wanted to say I hope you are doing ok and looking after yourself. I also hope you have got rid of your dh as his behaviour was inexcusable. If you have excused it (as I think you may have) please make this the last time. You deserve more x

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