10 years ago I had a great career, great house in a cool part of London, brilliants social life.
Then we had 2 DD and I gave up work to move out of London. We moved at a bad time so did not benefit from London property prices (which shouldn't be important but I feel it is).
DH is now very happy where we are now but I'm not. He has everything he's always wanted. He earns OK money and covers the bills/mortgage but also spends a lot of money on his hobby.
I work part time but most of my money goes on things for the kids & house.
I feel very shallow but I just feel I don't like I have the life I wanted.
I don't feel DH has kept up his side of the bargain. I gave up my career but his has stalled and he doesn't mind. All my friend's DH's careers have rocketed over the past 5 years and DH's is going backwards. He works really hard but is capable of so much more. I think it is a genuine issue with him that he actively wants a job that is unsatisfying as a kind of badge of honour (I realise that sounds ridiculous but it does make sense).
I am more than happy to work harder and earn my own money, but it's twice as hard for me now as I've moved out of the area where I could have got lots of work. He claims he can't do any of the school runs or pick ups because 'he's too busy'. I also do all of the washing, organising etc etc. I get annoyed because he can't have it both ways. Either his career is the focus, so he gets on with it so we can have more money - or it's not his priority, in which case he can support me while I do.
He can be quite negative about things and it is getting me down. He often complains, makes excuses and puts other people down. He can be very sneering about successful people.
Sometimes I feel he acts like a teenager who pays his board but doesn't see the rest as his responsibility. He doesn't think we need to be saving for the children, or the future, he doesn't think we'll ever want to move again or actually do any improvements to the house we have now.
I do love him, and we are a happy family. I don't want to split up but feel very down at the moment. I hate being jealous of all of my friends but I don't know how to stop it.
I don't know how to make him see that I have made all of the sacrifices, or how to stop feeling like I have.
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I feel like I've messed my life up
19 replies
morethanthis · 26/06/2013 10:54
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