Have namechanged.
So, friend confides that her DH has a history of DV, probably related to undiagnosed MH problem.
Over a year at the P1 school gate, more details have been confided - lots of nasty, ugly, violent behaviour and then lots of peaceful, ordinary behaviour with gifts and gestures to "make up for it".
She feels powerless, "the kids love him", "it's not that bad" "I know how to handle him" - you know, the stuff that women trapped in an abusive relationship say. Sigh.
I've said to come to me if ever she feels her, or her kids safety is at risk - but, it's her marriage, she's a grown-up, she knows fine well what's going on and I've felt there's nothing to be gained from telling her to LTB; she already knows that - and, there's a distinct undercurrent of "it's more complicated than that".
However, she's just told me that DH has pinned 7 year old up against a wall. Screaming in the face, threatening violence and that the child's daddy is going to "fucking kill you"
Also, she's told me he's got convictions for assault - I don't know whether that's against her, the kids, or someone else.
This woman is bright, clever, funny, and you'd just love her.
She KNOWS he's bad for her, bad for the kids and that she needs to leave.
But, I'm not sure that me offering safe refuge is enough now that I know her kids are at risk from a violent, unpredictable dick man, who might be ill, but who refuses to see his GP.
If you've been on the receiving end of this kind of crap, I'm sorry. But, if you have any nuggets of what could have been helpful from a friend that might have enabled to extricate yourself - well, I'd be really grateful.
I don't want to mess this conversation with her up.
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Relationships
need advice from someone who's been in an EA and DV relationship
84 replies
anotherworriedfriend · 15/06/2013 11:30
OP posts:
GettingStrong ·
16/06/2013 01:02
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GettingStrong ·
16/06/2013 07:57
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