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Why am I such a twat?

(108 Posts)
SucksFake86 Tue 14-May-13 15:45:00

I'm a single mum and around 4 months ago I met up with an old friend (male) who now also has a child a few months younger than mine. We started to meet up when he wasn't at work and our kids played together and we had a laugh.

About 2 months ago he sent me a random email asking me if I can give some advice on something? When I said yes he replied that his partner and himself had not had sex in over 2 years, slept in desperate beds, only talked about there child and never spent any time together. As our friendship progressed he began to be really flirty with me and I have to say I enjoyed the attention he was giving me. Anyway, we exchanged a few pics and had a flew sex chats. He has now said he's going to come clean to his partner in a couple if weeks.

The thing is he's totally in my head and I know I'm a bitch. He's been talking about us getting together and our life together. I know I should just forget about him, but it's so bloody hard and I genuinely didn't think this would happen.

Aarrrgh!!!

SucksFake86 Thu 16-May-13 22:55:46

I have taken a lot on board and I've got a lot to think about which I wouldn't have if I hadn't of come here. Maybe I underestimated the harsh stuff people would say about me. Yes that may be naive and I'm not looking for any violins, but it's clear I'm not strong enough to take it as some have really hurt me and I don't need to feel any lower. Not looking for any sympathy or anything, just I can't take it all right now. Thanks to everyone that has contributed.

Looksgoodingravy Thu 16-May-13 23:51:42

Maybe you should look to your harshest critic - yourself. Your thread title says it all, that's what you think about yourself.

Tbh I think you've had some damn good advice on here and compared to other similar posts you've not been treated too harshly.

Perhaps reading reactions for part you've played in all of this is not something you're ready for.

The way to make friends is not to alienate people. Maybe the group you attend sees you and OM having cosy chats and that's the reason they give you a wide berth. People aren't daft, I'm sure they maybe sense something is going on between the two of you. Have you ever wondered that?

Buzzardbird Fri 17-May-13 07:13:24

Don't give up hope Op. For all you know those women at the groups you go to might feel exactly the same as you but aren't as 'upbeat' as you are?
meeting other mothers was terrifying for me as I suffer with anxiety issues and it took a couple of years to really make any sort of friendships.
You have to remember that these other mothers are going to the groups also for some adult company. You just need to chat to the mom of whoever is playing with your son...but don't expect bessie mates from it.
the friends that you drifted away from because of your ex twat are the ones you should be concentrating on. If they were 'real' friends they will still be there for you after an apology and explanation.
good luck Op, don't be dis-heartened. You don't sound to me like you are going to get suckered in by this awful guy again and when you have built or re-built other friendships I am pretty sure you won't want his anymore. thanks
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BerylStreep Fri 17-May-13 09:47:33

OP, I am sorry that this is going to sound harsh, but you are falling for every trick in the book. You are the OW, and you are scrambling around trying to justify it.

Shame on you.

SucksFake86 Fri 17-May-13 09:52:03

I know I said I won't be replying and as I started this thread I have to expect people to respond because otherwise there would be no point. I would appreciate it if people could let this thread die. I know what I did was wrong but I am putting things right and I just can't take all the personal insults anymore. I shouldn't have written this thread, that was a total mistake as I just can't deal with it. So yes I'm a stupid bitch, naive, desperate, low, boring and whatever else you can throw at me, I know! Please just leave it.

Buzzardbird Fri 17-May-13 13:32:00

I was offering support sad

lowercase Fri 17-May-13 18:22:31

I think MN will delete the thread if you want, though I'm not 100%

The world is not against you, stop being a victim, unless you want your whole life to stay this way.

I dont think this makes you stupid nor him a user liar ect.

Sometimes people feel stuck with the one they are with and it isnt that easy to leave, saying that I dont think it will do you any favours to carry anything on with this man. Till he has made up his mind and isnt with his partner anymore.

And if you've feelings for eachother, it will be next to impossible to be just friends.

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