Very long story: been with DH for four years, we were together six months, and got married when I fell pregnant. Our relationship has been quite messy; lots of differences of opinion on what marriage is about, lots of EA (I think, he thinks its me being unrealistic and dependent) from him; plus we have lived apart, in different countries for about half the time. He is a fairly compulsive liar, and has been unfaithful at least once, and emotionally unfaithful often. I just returned to the UK about a month ago to prepare for the birth of DC2, I'm 37 weeks so not long to go.
Just before I came back we were getting on well, and had good chats about how to move our relationship forward along with having (a very unexpected) second child. I was a bit wary, but fairly convinced it would somehow work itself out. About a week after I got back though, he has gone AWOL, won't answer calls or texts, or speak to anyone about me. I have asked his parents to talk to him, as he is staying with them ATM, and he won't discuss it with them. He won't tell me if he is still coming over for the birth, and he won't talk to DS either. DS is in bits and has been behaving terribly (this is only part of the problem of course, we have also moved country and a new baby is coming): I am in bits trying to get ready for a calm and happy birth which I'm now finding impossible to prepare for.
Any advice? I feel really stuck, and also really really stupid for getting into this position. I can't imagine how to explain to my kids that daddy left but, well, we don't know why. I am very angry with him, and I am struggling to get into a reasonable head-space for birth. I've no idea how I'm going to cope with two kids by myself, and also I don't know how to get past the obsessive wondering as to what the hell is going on. I also just feel broken - that he doesn't want us, and doesn't even care enough to come out and say it. There is also a chance that he will just rock up before the birth as planned, and refuse to discuss it.
Thanks for reading if you got this far. I don't know quite what I'm asking, but handholding or good ideas very much appreciated.
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Relationships
How to deal with DH going AWOL
21 replies
Zorra · 05/05/2013 10:36
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