I have been with DP for about 6m now. Apart from a few hiccups it is a lovely relationship, the best.
But I'm really struggling with something. His friend, who I'll refer to as Ben, is really hard to deal with. When I first spent time with Ben, I had just had some truly terrible news. Ben warned me he likes to play games with people's heads I explained what was happening and asked him to be gentle. After a few incidences of him trying to play games, I literally begged him not to. This was in my home, he was my guest
I ended up in tears! Every time DP left the room he would say that I have to make damned sure that I get on with him.
The next time I spent time with him he was mostly fine, probably because he had pulled. I say mostly because we were on our way to a party, I was sat next to him in the car, and he told me he is, in his words, a sleep rapist!
The next time I saw him out socially we pretty much ignored each other. At the end of the evening he left with another friend of DPs and basically warned this guy to stay away from me as he had been watching us. There was nothing to watch!
When DP is introducing him to people he has to introduce him as his best friend, or Ben will get upset. If DP is out with other friends or with me, Ben will blank him for a while. DP often makes light of the fact that we mustn't upset Ben, and acknowledges that he is high maintenance.
DP has chosen not to discuss Ben's behaviour with him.
Last night DP and I went out for another friends bday. We ended up having a discussion about Ben, how I don't trust him. DP says I'm insecure, needy and am being nasty. I said I feel very uneasy about Ben and feel unsupported. We have pretty much broken up. I have worked so hard to remove toxic people from my life, yet here is Ben. Ben spends Xmas with DP and has announced he would be best man if we married. I don't want him in my life or anywhere near me.
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Relationships
Am I being insecure and irrational?
maristella · 03/05/2013 13:28
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