Over the last 2 weeks my DP confessed that he has cheated on me with 3 women over the past 2-3 months (we've been together for 5 months, he moved in after a month). The first 2 were random women he met at a bar and it went as far as kissing/groping. The last one was with his ex who he got back in touch with about 3 months ago by email and then started meeting up with her, leading to sleeping with her. At first he admitted to just being in touch with his ex, about a week later in an argument he admitted he?d slept with her, this week?s revelations have included the 2 random women and yesterday the fact that he?d exchanged explicit emails with his ex, and taken photos of her.
Now I?m not usually the type to be anyone?s doormat. I have always read the regular cheating/affair posts on here and recoiled with disgust, sure in my long-held (but never tested) opinion that I would never take a man back if I knew he?d cheated on me (in any way, not just sex).
He says he detached himself from the reality of what he was doing, that he would never do this again ? that he won?t go out by himself, only when we could both go out together ? and of course that he loves me and doesn't want to lose me.
Most days since finding this out, I felt a sick knot in my stomach throughout the day, and my emotions change by the hour from anger, to pain, to sadness to relief. I think part of me could actually ignore what happened and I have a strong desire to do that. How is this possible? Is this possible, is it healthy? Or will it come back to haunt me when I wake up? Why is it so hard for me to actually mean it when I say to him that this is over and I cannot forgive him, let alone trust and believe him?
I?m not sure what I am looking for here, I haven?t told any of my friends/family because I feel like a stupid fool, so I can?t talk to anyone in RL about this and I have no experience of infidelity. Perhaps I need to hear from others that I would be an idiot to consider staying in this relationship because from the inside my perspective feels utterly warped.
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Relationships
Why isn't leaving cheating DP an easier decision?
questions2008 · 02/05/2013 11:42
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