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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Verbal abuse on the increase, is it?

32 replies

StopThinkLife · 07/04/2013 18:12

?There is more legislation protecting animals, than there is protecting fathers.? (Justice for Fathers)
What do you think? and are we taking the rights away from fathers seeing there children and is this right? This week as a woman who works in family law I have seen 5 cases of verbal abuse come in to play since the government policy change (1st April 2013) on there partners and I have a feeling this will be on the increase by the end of the year from people abusing there rights to get benefits and legal aid paid. I know of cases that women have been advised to say verbal abuse even child abuse by solicitors and social workers. Is this policy change good or bad or should it be thought about? Are we looking after the interest of our children or our selves as women and do men deserve everything they get and has it swung to much in our favour and tipped the ball of balance one way not equal, when it come down to the rights of our children seeing there parents?... Children need to see parents as much as they can to give the balanced life style they need. What is your thoughts using verbal abuse or any sort of abuse to break up with your partner....

OP posts:

Report

Sunnywithshowers · 07/04/2013 18:31

In answer to your original question, I don't believe that verbal abuse is increasing.

RunningAgain · 07/04/2013 18:33

A woman who works in family law eh?

DearPrudence · 07/04/2013 18:35

How many words do you need?

JaquelineHyde · 07/04/2013 18:46

I don't like any of the legal aid changes that have been made.

Have you considered that these women you are mentioning have been forced by the changes in policy to reveal the verbal abuse they have had to suffer, that they may have otherwise kept private, to ensure they get the legal aid they are entitled to?

You make it sound like these women are lying?

RunningAgain · 07/04/2013 18:46

And sorry, but their their

JaquelineHyde · 07/04/2013 18:47

Or have you just made it all up in order to try and get a reaction/argument because you have nothing better to be doing with your time?

Sunnywithshowers · 07/04/2013 18:51

And is it possible that, given that you are quoting from something called 'Justice for Fathers', that you have a specific point of view and are not really wanting our opinions at all?

Catkinsthecatinthehat · 07/04/2013 19:00

I'd never engage a law firm whose employees couldn't distinguish between there and their.

Sunnywithshowers · 07/04/2013 19:01

Ditto Catkins. Or who didn't give references for quotations.

Pan · 07/04/2013 19:05

I have a very strong sense of deja vu on this. About a year ago. Maybe more.

Pan · 07/04/2013 19:08

and try googling 'Justice for Fathers'.

Sunnywithshowers · 07/04/2013 19:12

Oh gawd, is that how it all started? It was last March.

The only thing that comes up for 'Justice for Fathers' is an old FB page. However, if you rearrange the words...

izzyizin · 07/04/2013 19:12

I know of cases that women have been advised to say verbal abuse even child abuse by solicitors and social workers

As you are 'a woman who works in family law', may we assume you have reported these cases to the relevant authorities?

Some may think that offenders have more rights in law than their victims and it is certainly the case that some children are obliged to have contact with parents who pay less attention to their responsibilities than their counterparts in the animal kingdom.

Pan · 07/04/2013 19:13

Last March, sunny? Really? Should I be scared of my own powers of memory?

AnyFucker · 07/04/2013 19:16

Well, this is nice

An old friend turning up for a chinwag and a

Pan · 07/04/2013 19:19

ha!

Lueji · 07/04/2013 19:34

I suspect that before women just went along with unreasonable behaviour, or tried to get a mutual consent divorce, to avoid further unpleasantness.

I know at least one case.

As of now if they can't get legal aid otherwise, I should hope they do tell the truth. And I suspect, in most cases, there will have been some form of abuse. Or otherwise, the OH would have agreed to the divorce and it would be cheaper.

flippinada · 07/04/2013 19:49

People using abuse or verbal abuse as a reason to break up with a partner? How very dare they!

WafflyVersatile · 07/04/2013 19:50

I'm having trouble understanding your op.

This govt policies will increase the stresses on families and make it harder to get support with coping with those stresses. We can expect higher levels of partner and child abuse in response. Not sure what you're going on about with dads and courts and verbal abuse and verbal abuse accusations.

Sunnywithshowers · 07/04/2013 19:56

Pan your powers of memory are amazing. I bow before you.

If I was being verbally abused I'd leave, OP. And I'd expect my husband to do the same. If a parent is being verbally abused they are not being a good parent - it's very frightening to witness.

StopThinkLife · 08/04/2013 07:03

I can only say what I see. I am more for women's rights but I can't stand here and watch the rights taken away from any persion whether is a man or woman because a law has got loop holes in it for people to take advantage of it and I am saying I have noticed a trend last week. Today's a new day new week and I will keep this thread updated.

The people I am worried about in the futur is the people who will be rightfully taking action against abuse and they will be tarnished with the same brush with the people who are abusing the system as it will become the same as 'No Win No Fee' or 'whiplash claims' and the system will be abused.

OP posts:

Chubfuddler · 08/04/2013 07:12

I hope your pleadings are a little clearer than your posts.

If you're a solicitor I'm the Pope.

Thistledew · 08/04/2013 08:22

If you were a solicitor you would recognise that the changes in availability of legal aid the have caused a massive swing in favour of men going through divorce. I speak in generalities and of course there are exceptions to this, but on the whole a man is more likely to be in paid employment when he is going through a divorce and so can afford legal representation, and a mother is more likely to be out of employment, or in part time or low paid employment so that she can care for the couple's children.

This has created a mass inequality of arms. If there are women who are playing the system (and I have to say that there is no evidence that this is the case) then it is in fact the result of a system in which they are inherently disadvantaged. A system which was designed and put in place by a predominantly male and misogynistic government.

FactOfTheMatter · 08/04/2013 08:26

I like 'tarnished with the same brush'. Sorry, off-topic, I know, but I do have a weakness for a well-mixed metaphor.

extracrunchy · 08/04/2013 08:28

I'm a bit worried about who "family law" are employing...

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