DH has just been made redundant from his (pretty well-paid city IT) job. He found out that redundancy was on the cards a couple of weeks ago but last week was his last week there. He's got a month's notice which he doesn't have to work and is rather half-heartedly looking for similar work. He worked long hours with a long commute for a boss he didn't like (though he was good at his job and quite liked the role; redundancy was because the the company wasn't doing well, nothing personal) and I think is enjoying being at home.
He says that obviously he needs (and will get) a job, but doesn't want to just walk into any old job with (potentially) a longer commute than he's had and wants to pick a job that is right for him and is one he will enjoy doing and is able to do. He has applied for a few jobs-one, he's been long-listed (what does THAT even mean!?) for and has to submit further details for, another rang back straight away but was more of a coding role that he wanted, so is no good and he turned down another that was another 40 minutes on top of the previous (hour's) journey that he did before. Soooo-nothing to be jumping up and down about but clearly there are jobs in his field out there-he's got a degree, a Masters and 10+ years' experience, so isn't batting out of his league.
I am a bit fed up though-redundancy is always a bit of a crap situation to be in, especially whilst the country's in recession etc. I work p/t and will try to work more hours, but my money is crap compared to what he was on. He's cross with me for being fed up and says that if anyone should be fed up, it's him and he's not, so why am I! I'm not crying or depressed, but I just feel a bit down-concerned about the future, feeling aware of bills and the constant expensive demands of a house and three children. He says that because I'm being like this (I'm not even being really miserable, just a bit dowat I don't want him in the house and he says it feels like I don't think he'll get another job. I don't think that anything I'm feeling is different to anyone whose husband has just been made redundant-or do other women skip around the house or really aren't that bothered at facing redundancy?
He says that ideally he could have 6 weeks off at home and then find a really brilliant job. That sounds great-but also sounds as if he's going to do very little for 6 weeks! Who's to guarantee a great job will just fall into his lap then?
Am I being a petulant bitch about all this and should just paint on a smile to save his pride/ego/sanity or whatever it is that i'm upsetting? Or is he being an unrealistic pita. I'd honestly like to know as at the moment, I'm not really sure what's going on :( If I'm not being unreasonable, I'd like some advice to get him to see where I'm coming from as we really don't seem to understand each other on this one.
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Relationships
Am I being unreasonable to DH? (yes, wrong board, I know!)
howshouldibehave · 25/03/2013 19:08
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