I'm finding myself struggling with parenting my DD at the moment, really struggling. She's in the later years of primary school, and she's the same age I was when my childhood abuse seemed to reach its peak.
I'm realising I don't know what is "normal" for this age. I can't relate to it at all, because the only real memories I have are of the abuse, the majority of this age I've blocked it out.
I'm second guessing every decision I make. I let things slide that I shouldn't because I'm terrified of being too harsh on her. I'm undermining DP in the process by not sticking to the rules we set.
I'm struggling with feeling detached too. From DD and DP, like I'm numb and I don't belong, I can never belong because I should be able to cope with all of this and I can't. I shouldn't find this so hard. We went to MILs today and I sat there in a fog for most of the afternoon, I was there but I wasn't a part of it, I was just an observer on the sidelines.
I'm not even really sure why I'm posting. I guess I wanted to ask if anyone had any advice or had been there themselves and partly just to let it out.
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Childhood abuse affecting my parenting
6 replies
Spottyblancmange · 24/03/2013 00:14
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