We have 3 DC, youngest two are toddlers. DH and I both have professional careers and I went back part time after DC 3 (less than a year ago). We have crippling childcare costs coupled with a big mortgage. DH resents this and wants me to go back to work full time asap so that I can be earning a full time salary again. We both have separate finances and I am very careful with our money, we don't have luxuries etc. He regularly complains of having no money left after transferring approx £200 to my account to help with the costs of shopping etc now that I am part time. He does manage to save £250 monthly into his savings account.
My job is very stressful (management) and we have discussed a non management post but it would bring in less money. I organise 99% of things in the house, pay the shopping, childminder etc and all joint funds go on a spreadsheet. However, it always means that I pay out more per month. He is not interested in a joint account.
I do 99% of the housework etc and currently feel that I don't have enough time for my children as it is. He won't allow us to get someone to help with cleaning - too expensive. I'm tired, cranky and feel that the only worth I have is a financial one.
I'm a bit resentful that I couldn't stay at home while the children were young, and work part time. He now admits that he only wanted 1 child due to the costs involved and never said that earlier. I do get a bit jealous that my friends are going to toddler groups etc. I feel that I am paying someone else to bring up my DC.
He made quite a bit of money some years ago from the sale of his house before we married, but lost it all on shares etc. At that time, I had a lot of student debt, he didn't offer to help me at all and I worked myself up in my career and paid every penny off.
I just feel exhausted, only here because of my financial contribution. On top of that there is no affection etc, no sex in over a year. Just fed up. He doesn't even want to discuss it.
Sorry if I come across as moaning. I know I should be happy with what I've got.
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Tired and fed up
20 replies
paris100 · 21/03/2013 12:52
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