I've followed the relationships thread for a while now, and they've been a great help - I've not had the best dating history - this is my first post, so please be gentle.
I have a DD by my ex who I've had a rocky relationship with, on again, off again type thing, and eventually ended it with him for good, when he slept with his ex wife ( 5 years after their divorce went through) I started seeing a guy I worked with and had a good friendship with, we had a good time and really got on well, but I changed jobs and we saw less and less of each other, and things started getting messy with my ex (he had no where to stay and moved in with me to help with child care while I was working) this obviously caused issues with the new guy I was seeing and eventually it all got too much and I called it off.
We tried to stay friends, but it just didn't work, I went through a rough time, and felt like this guy just distanced himself more and more and said a few hurtful and selfish things. So i basically said I didn't want to contiue the effort of maintaining a friendship when I got nothing in return and so I cut all contact with him.
That took us up to about 3 months ago.
Recently we were both invited out by a mutual friend, on face book (I know it's the root of all evil) and the nice banter we had always shared came back so naturally, so I messaged him privtaely saying it would be good to see him and catch up, our conversations got more and more flirtatious. in the run up to meeting up.
When we met we were with a group of friends so weren't overtly flirting, but he kept stroking my legs under the table holding my hand etc, I was really happy, I thought maybe it had just been awful timing the first time round, so at the end of the evening we were walking to get our taxis and after everything that happened I went to kiss him, I have no idea why, but I blurted out "are you seeing anyone?" he kissed me and then said he was (shock number 1)
I apologised profusely for my actions and left sharpish, he messaged me later saying he was really confused and I shouldnt be sorry as he was still in love with me, and had only been seeing her a few weeks. I slept on it, and then stupidly messaged him the next day, and again the messages got flirty and he kept saying he loved me and wanted to be with me, so you can imagine my shock when all of a sudden I get a message saying "Please don't text me until tomorrow evening as I'm seeing L and it would be awkward" (Huge shock 2)
So I didn't, but when he texted me back the next evening I basically told him I thought he was a liar and a cheat, and didn't want anything to do with him, and to not contact me again, but he's acting like I'm being childish and over reacting.
Do I have unreal expectations? Am I over reacting, is this sort of thing normal?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Was I right to tell him to shove it? Long - sorry
TeaWhiteWithOne · 26/02/2013 16:30
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