I have name changed because I am so embarrassed to admit the state of our sex life.
My DH and I have been married for 10 years. We never had a fab sex life if I'm honest -mainly because (TMI alert) he was too big and it hurt. Then I had kids (thanks to pushing the babies out, the 'too big' wasn't an issue anymore due to the grand canyon created by their heads).
But then we had the usual issues - post babies, too tired, too resentful, just can't be arsed phase. It started with once a month, then once every few months, then four times a year. And for the last two years, we have had sex just once each year (not even on his birthday!!)
It is an issue. Because it means we live like flatmates and I know my DH needs sex to feel loved. For me, I honestly could just, ahem, sort myself out, and be ok but the affection and closeness does help us forgive every day squabbles. But he gave up trying when I just wasn't into it. So no-ones been making any effort.
I am pleased to report that my libido seems to have resurfaced from years of resentment/exhaustion. DH and I have just had a BIG conversation. One that starts with a little argument but before you know it, everything comes out and the issue of lack of sex was part of it.
I said that I actually do want to have sex but that he doesn't seem keen anymore. He said he has given up trying. So I suggested that given we have a child free night tonight, that we just do it. We both agreed that we are nervous and neither of us really knows how to get things started. It's nuts - we feel like shy teenagers. He tends to get giggly (not really a turn on) when he's like this.
Please mumsnet - I don't need an analysis of why this has happened. All I want are your best tips to help me have sex with my husband tonight, particularly making those first moves (once things are underway I think it'll come back to us). I am not naturally affectionate and I know that just touching each other, holding hands etc would be a good first step.
But I'd love to hear any other tips/advice on this. Tx
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I need help - going to have sex with my DH for the first time in a year
swingingfromthechandeliers · 25/01/2013 14:53
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.