Quick Q ... is this appropriate?

[SoupOfTheNight]

DH takes kids to school.

Makes coversation with a mum there.

Adds her on facebook.

Talks to her all times of night.

Never mentions her to me, I have no idea who she is.

Massive long, personal conversations and talk of the snowball fight they all had.

DH moans to her about his legs aching after work out, she says Ask '(DW - me)' to rub them for you. (with daft embarresed face after)

I go to bed last night, hes drinking, sends message to her at 11:30pm to start up conversation.

This is all through private messages, not on wall.

Appropriate?

[Whippoorwhill]

Nope. Sorry.

[TrippleBerryFairy]

No

[elizadofuckall]

Nope! And i would be telling him so right now!!!

[LIZS]

er no

[SoupOfTheNight]

He says it is,

am going to show him reactions on here.

[AngryTrees]

No. Not at all. I would say it's the beginning of something, they seem to be getting closer and sneaking off to have exciting chats at night in secret. Definitely something that needs discussing.

[TrippleBerryFairy]

Is he generally a bit immature and disrespectul to you? Is he SAHD?

[thixotropic]

No

[elizadofuckall]

Really Mr Soupofthenight?

So then you will be okay with Mrs Soupofthenight doing the same with one of the dads from school?

Get a grip man..what are you? 12?

[SoupOfTheNight]

He said he would be fine with it.

[MrsBucketxx]

If he is not hiding it or being sneeky no.

Dh has a female freind who texts at odd times, but I know its ok nothing to worry about. We have met etc.

Looks like he is being sneeky though.

[elizadofuckall]

Cool...off you go then love...sounds like he is giving you the nod to 'do your own thing'...So go test the theory :)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

It's not appropriate at all... he's making a complete fool of himself. How many male friends does he text last thing at night after you're in bed?

[StuffezLaBouche]

No, it's not ok...not sure many people would be comfortable with this actually

[Anniegetyourgun]

He says it's appropriate, he says he would be fine with it... well he would, wouldn't he?

eliza , I like both your name and your style.

[MarilynValentine]

Not appropriate. I'm sure he knows that really. He's just got into a flirtation and he likes it and wants to protect his 'right' to have it.

Disrespectful of him to think nothing of how it's making you feel.

[EvenBetter]

I'd find an emotional affair inappropriate and grounds for him to move in with one of his mates for a wee while to mature a bit and consider his marriage vows. Long, personal conversations with another woman is disrespectful to you and not a great sign for the marriage or his opinion of his wife IMO. If he finds nothing wrong with it he's telling you he will continue and probably won't even bother hiding it.

[Sugarice]

It is completely inappropriate!

I would be livid if dh did this, you need to rein this in.

[tribpot]

But as you would never mention this school dad you were chatting to, how would he know to be fine with it?

I have a massive long chat convos with some of my (male) friends - partly that's just maths, most of my close friends are male because I work in a very male industry. My DH doesn't know all of them personally, he's heard all their names mentioned and the conversations are not typically personal - chit chat, work chat, gossip, how do you do [x] in a computer game our dc are both playing. When I do do 'personal' chat it tends to be because the other party is having a relationship problem - I do tell DH about these.

If he does all the school runs logically he will develop a network of friends and contacts as a result - that's how it goes. Some will be closer than others, ditto. But is his network really made up of one person?

[chubbymomie2012]

Really not appropriate and maybe I'm a massive cynic but if this is what u know about what is he hiding. I'd be annoyed he's making a fool of me in front of other parents ESP I they see this blossoming friendship. Lastly. I'd be mighty pissed at this doll who he's messaging she is as much to blame, unless he's stalking her and she is trying to politely put him off. Hmm either way not appropriate.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I bet all the other people at the school gates are laughing at you behind your back. "Poor old SoupOfTheNight being married to a lecherous old tomcat like that... "

[elizadofuckall]

Also, what could possibly be the context of the 'embarrassed face' after saying get your DW to massage your legs?

That doesnt make sense in the context of a friendship..if i were suggesting my friend get a leg rub from her DH i wouldnt add an embarrassed face!

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I know the context... The 'friend', realising he's stepping over the mark with the 'will you rub my legs' (oo-eerrr missus!!) comment is saying 'you have a DW for that ...' I also have a (mildly lecherous) old friend who occasionally texts something that's a bit risque and that's the kind of thing I like to remind him.

[elizadofuckall]

Exactly cogito.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

And my mildly lecherous old friend is almost certainly having an EA with me. The fact that it isn't reciprocated is rather by the by....

OP... how about taking your kids to school yourself for a while. Meet this woman and get chatting :)