Following on from Lubey's posts at the end of the last thread, I've been thinking about my own situation recently quite a lot. LM is very keen on being open and honest which is great, it really is, but the problem is that I've not been open and honest. He knows the bare bones about the DV situation with my ex but not a lot (and tbh I don't want to go into it in any more detail with anyone, really) but I am feeling more and more compelled to talk to him about the effects.
Lubey has said very well what these are - the need for reassurance, the lack of self-confidence, and for me the total paralysis of whatever part of the brain needs to activate in order to be able to talk about emotions, good or bad. I have no idea if he's aware of the first two things as I try very hard to hide them, but it's becoming more and more of an effort to keep the mask in place and I don't want to do this any more. Not that I want to turn into a total needy wreck or anything, and I really, really don't want to get heavy on him but I do feel that I want/need to talk to him about this shit. I very nearly did it last night on the phone but he had a friend round so it wasn't the time.
I think though it might actually be easier for me to message him about it, at least as the first shot, kind of thing.
So . . . two questions.
a Should I raise this subject with him at all? and
b If I do, can I do it by messaging/text to open the door a bit and follow up with a proper chat later on?
Oh, and a final question - if someone did this to you, would you run screaming for the hills?