Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Feeling shaken over DH's overreaction to my stupid behaviour

(257 Posts)
WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 18:29:37

Toddler and I were sat on the floor playing. I was feeling a bit ignored by DH, who was sitting at the computer while we played, so I jokingly chucked the wet nappy I'd just changed at him (it was balled up). My aim is shit so I accidentally caught his glasses and knocked them off (was aiming for his chest).

I fully expected him to be pissed off by my frankly stupid behaviour, but he totally overreacted. He shouted something incoherent and threw the nappy really hard at the floor, where it burst and covered DS and I in those little gel balls it's filled with. DS was upset by the mess as he got some in his hair and it was all over me.

I feel sick and a bit shaky but also stupid because I should never have thrown the nappy at him in the first place. Things have been quite tense recently as we are both feeling stressed so it shouldn't have been a surprise that he wouldn't have found it funny, even if it hadn't knocked his glasses off. But still, he was disproportionately angry and I hate that DS saw that. I'm also 7.5 months pregnant sad.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 09-Jan-13 18:31:25

I would be mad if you threw a pissy nappy at me. What were you thinking?

BLOO3Z Wed 09-Jan-13 18:32:23

He needs to find his sense of humour!

Bigwuss Wed 09-Jan-13 18:32:31

You should apologise, as should he.

Have you tried talking through your issues as it all sounds very passive aggressive.

dequoisagitil Wed 09-Jan-13 18:33:20

What happened afterwards? Did he clear up, did he apologise?

SolomanDaisy Wed 09-Jan-13 18:33:44

Wtf? You threw a dirty nappy at him? How old are you?

LaCiccolina Wed 09-Jan-13 18:34:21

Both apologise. Both idiots. Both mistakes.

Hug it out.

perceptionreality Wed 09-Jan-13 18:34:35

I think sometimes, we all misjudge a situation and do something intended as a joke which actually was a very bad idea in retrospect!

You did something unwise, he lost his temper. I would try to fix it and make up and move on.

OnlyWantsOne Wed 09-Jan-13 18:34:49

I think you both behaving stupidly & you need to sort it out. Why would it be acceptable to throw any thing at any one in your home? Would type be happy if your son starting throwin things at people when he is older?

You threw a nappy at him hard enough that it knocked his glasses off, and you're annoyed that he threw it on the floor? confused

I know you said that it was an accident that you hit him in the face instead of th chest, but it was a really bad idea overall.

strumpetpumpkin Wed 09-Jan-13 18:36:31

i dont think he overreacted. He threw it on the floor. Id have been really upset if someone had thrown a dirty nappy at my face and it knocked my glasses off. Really upset, especially if things were already tense and stressy. Bad call. Apologise. You both need to sort out the tension

Onezerozero Wed 09-Jan-13 18:36:50

If you threw a wet happy at him and hit him in his face, you can't really say he overreacted to throw it onto the floor and shout really.

fluffyraggies Wed 09-Jan-13 18:39:05

You say your sad that DS saw his dad angry. What about him seeing his mum chucking stuff at his dad's face!!??

Proudnscary Wed 09-Jan-13 18:39:31

If everything else is generally ok then honestly just go and say sorry and hug him - he will surely do the same back?

I'd be pissed off and shout at you if I was him but would calm down after a few mins and see it for what it was - a stupid one off and no big deal.

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 18:41:09

Yes it was very stupid. Things are not ok.

BelleoftheFall Wed 09-Jan-13 18:42:44

I think his reaction was pretty understandable to be honest.

fluffyraggies Wed 09-Jan-13 18:42:53

Tell us about it here wonky. There's obviously more to this ..

Catsdontcare Wed 09-Jan-13 18:43:55

I don't think it was a complete over reaction on his part tbh. He didn't throw it back at you in a rage just on the floor.

ladyWordy Wed 09-Jan-13 18:46:53

Why do you feel sick and shaky, wonky.
Is something else happening.

NatashaBee Wed 09-Jan-13 18:55:00

If DH threw a dirty nappy at me, I would absolutely see red. It's disgusting. If you are frustrated with him, you should sit down and talk to him about why you are both so stressed, not throw pissy nappies at eachother.

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 18:56:03

Everything feels to complicated to explain. We often horse about. There's quite a lot of PA digging too. This felt like he really, really dislikes me.

Corygal Wed 09-Jan-13 18:58:24

Marital harmony tip: suggest you don't throw stinking nappies at people to get attention?

Possibly not followed not prioritising your own feelings over the person you've just smacked, either. Sermon over - forget it. Are you actually worried about something else? That sounds more like it - apologise and talk to each other about the real problem.

NatashaBee Wed 09-Jan-13 18:59:20

If his attention wasn't on what you were doing, I imagine it took him by surprise and he had no idea what had (literally) hit him. He may have acted on instinct. Did he say anything afterwards when he realised what you'd done?

Astley Wed 09-Jan-13 18:59:50

I would be really really angry if DH did that to me tbh. It's disgusting to imagine it actually hitting your face <<boak>>

I think you need to apologise. He threw it on the floor after it hit his face, I don't think thats really anthing to be sorry for.

WonkyBookshelf Wed 09-Jan-13 19:00:32

Yep, his attention wasn't on what we were doing. It very often isn't. I was definitely having an immature swipe at that.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now