I had a handful of dates with a man I met shortly before Christmas. Things were going really well and I was quite into him, until we had sex. Two things were problems;
Firstly, he had some quite odd "habits" in the bedroom - for example when he went down on me he kind of blew raspberries making farting noises with his lips that really wasn't erotic at all (this probably didn't need to be pointed out!). There was more but I think this serves as an illustration!
Secondly though when he went to (ahem) "put it in", he didn't have a condom on, which took me by surprise and freaked me out a bit. We had had very little in the way of foreplay at that point (he was quite small so I get he might want less foreplay) so I wasn't really expecting sex to start at that point. I had to call a halt to proceedings to ask if he had a condom. He said he didn't, did I have one, and I said no (stupid me - I usually have one but had been in a rush to get out the door and forgot - thought he'd have one though as he had suggested me staying the night and he knew sex would be on the cards). He then tried again without it and again I had to say "no", and again he stopped. He then went to "double check" his wallet and low and behold, found a condom. We had sex and he was actually technically quite good - it wasn't awful sex but I was a bit unsure about what had happened before. It is unusual for me - I am 31, have slept with about 20 men over the years and haven't met any who have ever suggested not using a condom (until well into a relationship). And you'd expect to discuss it. Surely this is pretty high risk behaviour - I'm not on the pill or anything and he doesn't know anything about me.
He is in touch about organising another date but I'm thinking I don't really want one. I don't know what to say to him though and what tone to take. Should I bring up the condom thing? Should I just say this concerned me? Or should I just say something vague like I might be getting back with an ex?
I don't want him to think it is because he is "small" - if someone "dumped" me after first time sex when things were looking good before hand it would ramp up any insecurities I had (it's not necessarily an insecurity for him but I'm aware it might be - I hate making people feel bad).
Aside from the sex thin he has been rather lovely to me. Help please!
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Relationships
How to dump someone after first time sex (with them)?
abitputoff · 02/01/2013 18:24
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