I have finally told boyfriend of 9 months that it's over. Happy new year eh?
Its not been great for, well most of the time we have been together, I rushed into it too soon after splitting with husband, and him the same. We were a crutch for each other when we had no one else, but I know that I put up with too much because of this.
He was always late, every single time we arranged to meet/him to come over. He is in major financial difficulties due to overspending in th past so I have paid for stuff, more than I could afford, more than I should have done. His ex is still in his life, it felt she was always waiting in the wings.. Ringing and texting 5+ times a day. He would turn up here 3 or 4 times a week, I'd cook a meal, he'd watch tv or play on his phone.. I think on 9 months he did the dishes 3 times maybe?
Then of course there was the incident. He got drunk, we had a row, he punished a hole in my wall and drove off. Still I didn't have the balls to say to him enough is enough. I have cried more this christmas than I have in the past 10 years, because of him, but also because of what I have allowed myself to come. It was my birthday a few days ago.. He ruined it, but still I asked him to come over last night, thinking that maybe we could spend the night together, that it would be nice. He was late, I bought the take away, he drank 2 bottles of wine and was on his fone.
He's checked my emails, he has threatened to "do in" my ex husband (who I have a good relationship with), he has stopped me from going out for tea with a work colleague, kicked off because I didn't tell him that the venue (a local pub) that my work Xmas do was at had hotel rooms... Even though I only went for 1 drink and left. He made me change my phone number because I had 3 texts from a very casual ex asking how I was... Despite me not replying to them.
I needed to get rid of him didn't I? Why do I feel so sad? Ds is with his dad for a few days and I just feel so lonely.
Sorry for the list and the ramble. I just needed to write it all down.
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Relationships
So he has finally gone...
Littlechangeforthis · 01/01/2013 11:50
OMG, yes of course you did the right thing, you have to ask? 
You are sad because you hoped he would be normal, he's not. That sadness will lift.
You were in an abusive relationship, one that would be VERY dangerous, one that could have cost you your life. You do see that, don't you?
Typical Abusive Twats take about 2 years for their mask to slip, your's didn't bother to conceal his nastiness. he was at you from the start. These are the most dangerous kinds, as they try to exert control on you when you are less worn down by those that put in the time to erode your confidence/esteem etc. The kind of abuser you have just got shot of have nowhere to go but extreme violence.
Keep talking to us, please? We'll keep you company. You just dodged a massive bullet, you may feel in shock for a while, but it will lift.
If the guy contacts you again, don't reply, just call the Police, every single time. Tell them that he is abusive and that he is harassing you. The Police WILL take it seriously.
new Year, new hope.
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I appear to have done 3 laps of lake.
Feel cold but great.
Now... Chicken pot pie or chicken nachos for dinner? Have meringue drying out in oven and some berries also.
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