Checking up on possible cheating dh

[justasking2705]

I have an inkling my dh may be cheating. I don't have much evidence but when I went on the computer a website for a local hotel in the city came up in the viewing history. I asked him about it and he said it was to do with work which could be possible but ds fell out of bed and he nipped off to check on him before i could see his reaction.

I was away with the kids last weekend so wonder if he took a woman there whilst I was away.

Don't really want to go into other suspicions but want to ring the hotel and check if he was there.

I was wondering if anyone knows whether a hotel would give out this kind of info. Could I pretend to be from his place of work checking if a claim for an overnight stay was being claimed for correctly. Or could I be a pa asking which room he had on the account of wanting to book the same room again?

Also wondered if he could have booked in under a false name if booking on line and using a credit or debit card?

Any advice appreciated. Thanks

[maleview70]

Personally I think you are being over suspicious based on one very loose bit of evidence.

Do you have anything else to go on?

If not then just park it and see if anything else crops up.

Doesnt really sound much on its own to me.

[Lavenderhoney]

Well you don't have much to go on, maybe he was planning a surprise night with you!
Any other evidence? If he did book a room he could've paid cash, and in the other persons name. If it could be work then it possibly is. Is anything else feeling wrong or is it just this? What made you check the history?

[HollyBerryBush]

If you dont trust him then you dont have a viable relationship.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

You mention 'other suspicions' which suggests this goes beyond some random hotel website and I agree with HollyBerryBush that your relationship doesn't sound good. Rather than making up some story you can probably call the hotel and ask straight if he stayed there. Although if he is shagging around he'd be very stupid to a) choose a local hotel and b) use his real name.

Why don't you just ask him straight if he's seeing someone else?

[jessjessjess]

Goodness, on this evidence you'd think I was cheating on my DH. I looked at some hotel websites the other day for a friend - all entirely innocent.

That said, it all depends on whether you have reason to distrust him. I'm a big believer in instinct.

I'm also a big believer in not turning into a mad, paranoid stalker if you think he's cheating. Ask him. Get him to stay in the room and talk to you. Whether you can, and how he reacts, will speak volumes.

[BluelightsAndSirens]

What are your other suspicions?

One viewing of a local hotel isn't much to go by.

[justasking2705]

Nothing massively suspicious. Just behaving slighly differently. Wanted more evidence when I confronted him.

[MadAboutHotChoc]

Check your credit card statement, bank statements for large cash withdrawals, mobile phone bills and the internet history on the computer to see if there is anything unusual including a secret credit card account or email account.

The problem with asking him is that 99% of cheaters will deny deny deny or minimise.

Has his behaviour been normal?

[ImperialBlether]

I think if you want to call the hotel, it would be much better if it was a man who called. Start by saying he's got a poor signal. Then give your husband's name and say he thinks he left a watch there.

If a woman rings, they are far more likely to be suspicious.

[tiredofwaitingforitalltochange]

If you are generally suspicious, that's more significant than the hotel thing.

So many websites I go on have 'locally tailored' advertising - ie FB, Google etc have links popping up to local hotels/restaurants/businesses.

I wouldn't even have to be looking for one, I could just idly click one of these links out of curiosity or by accident.

But anyone who's been on MN for a while will know that when a woman is suspicious there is more often cause for that suspicion than not.

[MadAboutHotChoc]

Sounds like your instincts are telling you things are not right - we always say on here to trust your instincts, wished I did.

Cognito - you would be surprised (or perhaps not!) at how bad many cheaters are at covering their tracks....

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Very little surprises me any more and I never understimate the stupidity of a man thinking with his cock... :) However, I favour a straight approach rather than too much dodging about trying to catch someone out.

[GoldPlatedNineDoors]

If you call the Hotel, ask for a copy invoice for expenses. Or something along the lines of could they put a company nane on the invoice for VAT purposes (very cmmon requests made by PAs).

[justasking2705]

Thanks for advice

[Suzanna69]

In my experience (and I have a lot) if your sexlife with your husband is healthy then you probably have very little to worry about. If you are pushing him away (and only you can answer that honestly) he will probably look elsewhere. Men are simple creatures and need sex. End of.
I will probably get flamed for that but I am just telling it like it is.

[Roseformeplease]

Used to run a hotel. We often got the wife calling about OW and DH. We never, ever confirmed or denied anything. We said that all our guests could book what / when / with whom they wanted. Our loyalty was, I am afraid, to our guests. You might get away with calling if it is a big chain but a small hotel will struggle to piss off customers by giving out confidential information.

[AnyFuckerForAMincePie]

Terrible advice from suzanna

[SPBInDisguise]

How insulting Susanna. All those poor women out there, ill, recovering from an op, chilbirrh, elderly. Well it's their own fault really if their Dh strays.

[BelaLugosisShed]

There are some interesting new posters arond today, all giving "Stepford wife" advice.

[SPBInDisguise]

Oh I see. Are you suggesting this particukr poster just wanted to 'advise' and run? Hope the op can see through the utter misogynist Crap then.