basically I don't know what , if anything, to do. My dh and I have had problems for at least 2 years, ever since I had my son really, although we have had communication problems for longer than that.
Bit of background - I'm 29, he's 25 and we've been together for 7 years, married for 5 and we have a ds who is 2.2.
My husband is basically a good person. He's a brilliant father. He tries to do right by the 2 of us.
The problem.. the problem is that we just seem to exist together. I feel like our relationship is gone, has been for a long time. We go out to dinner, and sit in silence while we pick at our food. We don't have conversation, and when we try it usually ends in arguments. He has no ambition, he has a middle paying job in finance which he hates but refuses to discuss the possibility of training to do something else. We very rarely have sex, mainly because I just don't fancy him anymore, he's gained 4 stone in the 7 years that we've been together and I realise that makes me sound shallow but .. sometimes I just look at him and I can't believe what we've become.. I still love him but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore, sometimes I can't believe this has happened to us, we are so disconnected, on different planets. Our ds is the only thing keeping us together, we are both from broken homes and we both desperately wanted our ds to grow up with his mummy and daddy together and in love.
Then there is the logistics. We recently bought a flat and I cannot afford the mortgage on my own, not even close. I'm also terrified of being a single mother, I had PND quite severely (this has also contributed towards our marital problems) and although I worship my ds I still get a little panicky when I am alone with him.
I just don't know what to do. I would really appreciate some advice.
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So confused I need help..
15 replies
luckyornot · 31/12/2012 10:57
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