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The good things about being single ( and living alone)

(104 Posts)
runforestrun Fri 28-Dec-12 14:38:24

Just newly happened to me

Please any help , make me feel better about whats just happened.

Keep feeling bit wobbly and don't want to weaken

smile

Piemother Sun 30-Dec-12 11:31:35

Getting enough rest. Even with small dc. My dc sleep very well too post split. Dc2 is littler but dc1 is old enough for me to be able to tell that like me, needs their sleep very much and second to that, calm quiet time regularly. We can have that any time now grin

And aside from contact issue etc being able to parent without compromise is amazing for me grin

Piemother Sun 30-Dec-12 11:33:18

Pieces- yy to your last paragraph. The next person who inspects my cleaning can do one!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 30-Dec-12 11:50:30

Feeling comfortable in your own home, and being allowed to have anyone you want round.

More free time to do what you want. You can slob out and no one knows. Eat what you want, when you want.

Don't have to tidy up after another adult, can have girly sleepovers and watch shitty films with no judgement.

Daddelion Sun 30-Dec-12 11:57:03

It's the same for single-fathers.

I love living on my own (with the children)

No visits to the in laws, clean to your own standards, huge tv, x-boxes, Sky HD,
Bliss.

I'll never live with anyone again.

MissPricklePants Sun 30-Dec-12 12:08:25

moments like right now where dd and I are still in pj's watching things on Iplayer and just lazing. Then we will have a potter in town and grab something nice for dinner. I am just going to wash up and have a cuppa and be thankful for my singledom especially when most of my friends and relatives constantly moan about their oh's. I cannot see myself having a relationship that gets to the living together stage. Pure bliss today!

Anniegetyourgun Sun 30-Dec-12 12:18:06

I'm with you, Molepom. It would be nice to share the burden of household costs, but that never happened when I was married anyway. There were just more people trying to live off the one income, and arguing about priorities.

Not watching bloody war films and war documentaries and war dramas and war, war, war everything, interspersed with Crimestoppers which for some reason he seemed to regard as prime comedy.

HairyGrotter Sun 30-Dec-12 15:10:38

I could write an endless list, it is just 4.6 yo DD and I, it is bliss. I was in a relationship this year and he practically lived here, it was horrible and I ended it. I gave co-habitation a shot, no way am I doing it again.

I can laze about all day (DD and I are in our onesies), drink, eat, watch what I want, doze on the sofa, cook, less washing, more laughter...no man shitting in my toilet (good call mooncup)...I can not shave, can sit in my own stink for the day, enjoy time with my girl, work, not make anyone a cuppa apart from myself, no tensions, no 'waiting around' for someone, no answering to anyone!

I have a great support network, so I can go out for nights out safe in the knowledge that DD is staying with my sisters or mum, and I can go out and get utterly cunted and come home at whatever time I want, with whomever I choose (usually drummers, for some reason)

Embrace, and enjoy!!!

BunnyKelly Sun 30-Dec-12 15:49:45

All good points, and I particularly like the freedom to do what you want and change your plans at the drop of a hat.

There's a danger though of comparing being on your own to your last (or worst) dysfunctional relationship, as if those were the only 2 options. Life with a compatible partner on the same wavelength has a lot to be said for it.

mcmooncup Sun 30-Dec-12 15:55:36

I wonder about that regularly Kelly.
I wonder if my past shit and long relationship has tarnished me forever.
But then I have been dating A LOT. I have met lots of different types of men, and certainly ones who would be considered to be 'excellent life partners' by friends/families. But ultimately, I see that still a woman's place in a relationship involves more compromise than a mans.
I see a lot of male behaviour that I'm just not prepared to put up with anymore especially for any sustained period of time.
<shrug> I don't know, maybe this will change over time but at the moment I am of the opinion that women have been hoodwinked into thinking they are only valid if they have a relationship, and actually the alternative to that, being single, ain't too bad at all grin

mercury7 Sun 30-Dec-12 15:57:54

I cant think of a single bad thing, it's so very peaceful, I cant imagine ever wanting to co habit again

mcmooncup Sun 30-Dec-12 15:58:49

One more benefit not yet mentioned.......food!
God, food used to have to be on a schedule, always a meal with meat, and lots of it.

I now eat much less, more healthily and have lost a stone without even trying.

HairyGrotter Sun 30-Dec-12 15:59:02

I'm open to life with a compatible partner, I just won't tolerate a person who does not benefit my life. I love living alone, but I'm open to having a healthy and beneficial relationship too.

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have separate houses, adjoined only by a 'hallway', she has one house he has the other, that would be my ideal!!

mercury7 Sun 30-Dec-12 16:03:48

one thing I particularly appreciate is not having my sleep disturbed by someone else.
Of course separate bedrooms do help with that, but you still have to creep about when the other person is asleep, and can be disturbed if they dont creep about when you're asleep

flippinada Sun 30-Dec-12 16:16:25

I love being single. Seriously love it.

After a lovely Christmas, DS is away spending time with XP and his family. Today for example, I had a lovely lie in, a long bath, and made myself a cake just because I fancied it. I'm currently watching one of my favourite DVDs and surfing the net.

Tomorrow I'm planning to do some fun shopping (as opposed to grocery shopping) with my Christmas money/vouchers and will get myself some nice plonk to see in the new year. I'm also going to meet a friend for lunch.

Lovely.

flippinada Sun 30-Dec-12 16:18:25

I agree with whoever said the divorce rate would skyrocket if women realised how much fun it is being on your own!

BunnyKelly Sun 30-Dec-12 16:45:48

All fair points mcmooncup, esp last one about the pressure on women to be in a couple. IMO this also leads to women to be defined by their relationships (or lack of) more than men.

On the differing degrees of compromise for men and women, the more compatible you are, the less the disparity it likely to be. If you agree on the big stuff, the small compromises come easier.

We all need to decide what level of someone else's crap we're willing to tolerate. A positive approach to single life is helpful in setting these boundaries in relationships.

meddie Sun 30-Dec-12 18:16:01

I love this thread. I thought I was in the minority thoroughly enjoying being single and not wishing to change that.
I do feel women are sold a 'happy ever after' story and are more invested to try and maintain sub par relationships. I look at my friends relationships and the good ones seem to be the minority and in the bad ones its always the women who seem to be making the major compromises,just to maintain it.
A single older woman is considered a bit sad, whereas a single older man viewed less negatively by society. Jennifer Aniston 'poor loveless Jen' compared to George Clooney ' wahaay gorgeous playboy george, no woman can pin him down'

GreenShadow Mon 31-Dec-12 12:39:34

All these 'good things about living alone' are all fine and dandy if you had a awkward/nasty partner before.

But what if you had a loving partner and a good relationship which worked well for both of you. Close friend lost partner just before Christmas and can't see much of this consoling her sad

SobaSoma Mon 31-Dec-12 13:15:16

Thank you for starting this thread OP. I've been living alone now for almost 7 years and although I found it hard at first, I soon saw the benefits. Just recently though I've started to feel sorry for myself for no particular reason and convinced myself the world is full of couples. Reading all the positive posts here has made me realise I'm just going through a temporary slump and that being single can actually be rather fabulous.

I think my favourite has to be that no man craps in my toilet smile although exH does pop round sometimes and thinks nothing of using my facilities!

gettingeasier Mon 31-Dec-12 13:46:36

100% behind all these positives

I live with my 2 teen DC single 3 years

My favourite thing about being single is the topic of FOOD . Make whatever I like , if I like , when I like . My DC eat like horses appreciating a nice home ccoked meal or cereal for dinner - they couldnt care less which smile. I question my sanity when I remember how xh insisted on gravy being homemade from stock from the veg peelings.

Next would be the do what you want second by second , had tons of freedom when I was married but its so much nicer not having to even consider someone elses agenda at all.

Not having to worry about the wellbeing and happiness of another adult

Not having to big up and pander to the ego of someone else constantly

Not having to listen to daily tales of world domination from the office

Not having football in my life

Yes indeed whoever said that the divorce rate would soar was spot on. During my break up I was too busy being heartbroken to wonder what single life would be like.

I doubt I will ever give this up smile

HollaAtMeSanta Mon 31-Dec-12 22:08:00

Love this thread! Agree with all the points made so far and wanted to add a seasonal one: I get to spend Christmas with MY family every year smile

duffybeatmetoit Mon 28-Jan-13 00:23:57

there's only one downside and that is being shunned by couples - men worried that you might give their wives ideas and women laughably thinking you'd rather be with their husbands than be single. Socialising with couples just reinforces the case for being happily single.

TheSecondComing Mon 28-Jan-13 00:37:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shadesofwhite Mon 28-Jan-13 01:26:15

been single for a week since i LTB ....im embracing every minute of it! Simply FREEDOM is finally at home!! i intend to keep it that way until further notice grin sipping some wine

runforestrun Thu 07-Feb-13 11:44:46

Any chance of starting this again,going to be moving back into my flat shortly and feeling bit sad smile

You all cheered me up so much before

xxx

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