I know this isn't necessarily a relationships issue. My stbxh left us in February, it was his choice to leave us. All he cared about when we were together was running his business, money and doing whatever he pleased. we have one ds nearly 3. I have always encouraged him to spend time with ds as he hardly ever saw him when we were together. He sees him every other weekend (stbxh's choice as he 'needs' to focus on his business) sometimes not even then when business needs him to work over the weekend.
Ds is usually a lovely well-behaved boy. He is bright, loving and had an excellent vocabulary. However, when he comes back from his dads house it takes me at least 3 days to get him back to being himself, because he comes back a stroppy, difficult child. I know this is 'normal' behaviour for many toddlers, but this isn't hi normal behaviour and family members/friends have been surprised by the transformation. It has actually come to the point where I avoid seeing people for the few days following his return. I have spoken to stbxh about sticking to routines and how he can discipline ds appropriately when he behaves difficultly.
He says all the right things but I'm not convinced he follows through. I believe he spoils ds (he has left us in financial difficulties but yet has the money to buy ds designer clothes) because he feels guilty for not spending enough time with him. He regularly posts photos of himself being the model father on fb which I find quite hurtful, because they are things he would never do with us as a family before he walked out on us.
Sorry i digress... Anyway ds is due to go to stbxh house the weekend before Xmas, coming back on Xmas eve. I really wanted to give ds time with his dad, but don't want him to be a pain in the neck come Christmas Day when I want to enjoy spending time with ds and the rest of my family without constantly having to put ds on the naughty step or remind him how to behave . I'm currently signed off work (I'm a teacher) because I've been trying so hard to keep it together but finally seem to have lost the ability to cope. I know this is a really selfish act to be considering, and I have never stopped him from seeing ds before ever! But could/should I?
He's having him for a few days over the new year period and has just spent 5 days with him at centre parcs. But ds has been truly appallingly behaved today as a result.
Help, I don't know what to do.
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Relationships
Don't want to be the bad guy on Christmas Day :-(
LetTheWookieWin · 08/12/2012 20:26
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