Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

photos of ex tucked away...weird or not

(36 Posts)
whatdoithinknow Sat 24-Nov-12 19:34:31

Would u find it weird if you found ur partner had stashed away pics of him and ex w on wedding day etc? They have blatantly been hidden and I'm wondering if its normal to keep this kind of thing? Pretty sure I don't stil have any pics of me and ex hubby hidden in the closet? But then I'm happily married and moved on from there....but are people just different?

VestaCurry Sun 25-Nov-12 01:56:06

My Mum destroyed all the photos of her and my father together (and any including me). I understand why she did at the time because he was violent towards her, but she told me she regretted it later because I have no idea what he looks like. I asked other relatives if they had any, but to no avail. I don't know if he's still alive and I have no particular desire to find out, but I SO want to know what he looks like. Photographs are an important historical record of one's life, which in years to come can be important to others, apart from the obvious stories like mine.

Dryjuice25 Sun 25-Nov-12 02:05:38

Busters , Yes, not sure why I stayed with him after this incident. He even ripped photos of me because ex photographed them!! We are now separated

I understand it Dry my friend's ex did the same thing as he was a jealous and possesive nutter. She didn't however after they split so the son he has never bothered to see will know what his F looks like - just so he can avoid him hopefully. Men are such cocks sometimes!

cronullansw Sun 25-Nov-12 11:46:06

''Weird''' is searching for them in the first place.

They weren't on the mantlepiece, they were 'blatantly hidden'. I'd love to hear you explain how you stumbled across them smile

PS; can one hide something blatantly? Seems a bit of a contradiction to me, like being a married divorcee, or nearly pregnant, or obviously unobvious.

LittleEdie Sun 25-Nov-12 11:48:04

Not weird.

I found some pics like that by mistake, and it felt weird seeing them, but it wasn't weird that he'd kept them.

kinkyfuckery Sun 25-Nov-12 11:51:22

I have photos of me and ex from our wedding day. No idea where, but then I didn't like them at the time either!

Viviennemary Sun 25-Nov-12 11:56:17

I haven't kept any photographs of my ex boyfriends as such. But I have got a couple of holiday romance photos that I've kept as I didn't think they counted. grin

VirgoGrr Sun 25-Nov-12 20:11:02

Don't wish to hijack, but what does the MN hive mind think about Valentine cards from exes?

DP has pictures of exes, which are put away, but I also know that he has old Valentine and birthday cards. I'm not fussed about the photos, but the cards made me feel a bit weird when I came across them in a drawer. (Disclaimer - he is a bit of a hoarder, he needs a nudge to chuck anything)

scaevola Sun 25-Nov-12 22:01:26

I wouldn't be happy about that - it just strikes me as too intimate, even though rationally it makes no difference to their previous history.

I wouldn't mind in the slightest though if a widow/er kept things though.

RubyrooUK Sun 25-Nov-12 22:11:57

I have all sorts of things from exes - photos, Valentine cards, birthday cards, letters....

None of it is due to me pining for them. It is just a record of my past and memories. It is about me documenting things that occurred in my life rather than feeling any ongoing affection for them. I probably wouldn't remember how long I'd dated one boyfriend except that I still have a "happy 3rd anniversary" card. blush

They all stay in a box in the attic mainly. Occasionally I get them out to make an old friend a card based on photos from that time. Over the years, DH has put his old photos etc in there too (as it exists and he's lazy). So now if we divorce, we will not only have to split our house, possessions, custody of children and so on - but also a box containing photos of all our exes. It's worth staying married. grin

Magicmayhem Sun 25-Nov-12 22:38:18

Apocalypto... you made me laugh out loud..
I think our ex's are part of our history and have a part in what made us who we are today...
I recently threw away my old engagement and wedding cards... and think I have some pics of my ex with the kids somewhere or other...
my fiance mayhave some pictures of his ex, but as long as they aren't out on show or he pleasures himself over them... I'm not worried..

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now