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Just seen a photo of him wearing a wedding ring :(

(26 Posts)
FooThaiFighter Fri 16-Nov-12 16:41:46

Just flicking through some photos on Facebook and there is one with my boyfriend in it - looking very happy - wearing a huge wedding ring which just seems to illuminate itself for my benefit. Thing is, the photo is only from Feb last year. He told me they'd been split for 2 years before we met.

I was feeling hormonal today anyway but seeing him with a wedding ring on has actually made me feel physically sick. What the hell is wrong with me? I feel so bloody vulnerable right now.

colditz Fri 16-Nov-12 16:42:48

Nothing's wrong with you, you've been lied to, obviously.

HecatePropylaea Fri 16-Nov-12 16:43:43

Perhaps they were separated but he didn't feel ready to take off his ring at that point?

supadupapupascupa Fri 16-Nov-12 16:44:53

when did you meet?

mum11970 Fri 16-Nov-12 16:45:40

As Hecate said, he may well have split up long before he took his ring off, especially if the split wasn't his decision.

FooThaiFighter Fri 16-Nov-12 16:45:48

We met about 7 months ago

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 16-Nov-12 16:46:15

After my marriage ended, I wore my wedding ring for about 6months.

Ask him about it.

Monty27 Fri 16-Nov-12 16:46:39

How do you know when the photo was taken? It may have been uploaded then but taken earlier?

badtime Fri 16-Nov-12 16:46:53

The picture may also have been taken some time before it was uploaded.

PerryCombover Fri 16-Nov-12 16:47:42

Sometimes I still wear mine cos it's nice
Ask, it might mean nothing

Proudnscary Fri 16-Nov-12 16:47:46

Feb this year or last year?

If last year then that is nearly two years ago.

Even so I agree it is suspicious especially as he said they split two years before you met.

Are you pregnant then?

I'd snoop his Facebook some more, see if you can see friends' photos etc.

Then I'd probably just ask him in this case, see his reaction.

orangepudding Fri 16-Nov-12 16:48:00

Agree the picture could be an older one. Ask him.

FooThaiFighter Fri 16-Nov-12 16:48:39

To be honest, I'm starting to wonder if I'm emotionally stable enough for a relationship anyway. I've been a mess all day for no real reason other than I'm due on my period next week. I took the day off work and everything because I just couldn't face going in. Then, to top it off he's been quite "cool" with me all day which is unlike him and in all honesty, I'm feeling like a bloody wreck.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 16-Nov-12 16:49:11

Don't be hasty - perhaps he wore his ring for a while after they split but before it was final?

My brother wore his wedding ring for several months after he and his wife were living apart, but I am pretty sure that he would date their split from the day she moved out.

FooThaiFighter Fri 16-Nov-12 16:50:34

I'm not pregnant, just suffer terrible mood swings. Today has been awful. I've gone from feeling hopelessly depressed to feeling absolutely crazy and manically laughing at random shite to seeing that picture and feeling like shit again.

I'm not on the pill either, there is no reason for my mood swings other than the time of the month. It's crazy.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 16-Nov-12 16:53:31

Do you have reason to doubt him otherwise? Have your instincts been trying to tell you anything?

My DH was married before, and he only split from his wife 6 months before we met. If I had seen a photo of him with his old wedding ring on, my reaction would have been almost non-existent 'oh there is DP while he was still married/wearing his ring', and I would have moved on with my day.
It says something that your reaction has been so violent, IMO.

MyLastDuchess Fri 16-Nov-12 17:16:35

Check with him ... My parents split more than 30 years ago but my father still wears his wedding ring (and no, it's not for any sort of emotional or sentimental reason, he is just a creature of habit I think!)

It might mean something, but it doesn't necessarily.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 16-Nov-12 17:38:18

My marriage ended 17 years ago and I still wear my engagement ring because it's too pretty to keep in a box somewhere. ...

NoraGainesborough Fri 16-Nov-12 17:42:01

Its a photo from almost 2 years ago. Plenty of people wear their wedding ring for a while. Some for long periods of time.

NoraGainesborough Fri 16-Nov-12 17:42:46

Oh and was the photo loaded to fb in February last year?

if so, it could have been taken well before that.

ImperialBlether Fri 16-Nov-12 17:55:05

I think that without talking to him you are completely overreacting.

Can you tell us more about your mood swings? What caused the high today? Do you normally get into such a low mood over something like this?

I would talk to him before you make assumptions. It could very well be that he kept it on for a while after the split.

Aside from that have you been feeling down for long? And the mood swings; do they happen much? Would it be worth a trip to your GP for a chat?

Kaluki Fri 16-Nov-12 17:59:59

Never mind your boyfriend, I think you should go to the GP about these pre menstrual mood swings.
If you want to know why he had a ring on / when the photo was taken just ask him.

DontmindifIdo Fri 16-Nov-12 18:01:06

well, it could easily be the photo was taken over 2 years ago but only uploaded in Feb, unless it's at an event that's clearly from last feb.

Or, it could be for various social reasons it was easier to wear the ring then - I know both men and woman who've continued to wear wedding rings for a while after a relationship have ended to either avoid explaining to colleagues, or DCs or extended family they don't see often why they aren't wearing it when they are feeling a bit vunerable about it all and not happy to discuss.

Or it could be he's lied about when his relationship ended.

Durab Fri 16-Nov-12 18:02:58

I don't think it would be unreasonable to still be wearing the ring some time after a spilt, especially if you were hoping it wasn't permanent (at the time) or maybe it was a way of signaling he was off limits if he didn't want attention from women who learnt he was newly single.

However I also don't think it would be unreasonable to have a light conversations along the lines of "Hey you're still wearing your wedding ring in Feb last year?" If you don't feel able to do that, then yes, there is a problem.

As for your mood swings, I'm exactly the same, this is the sort of thing I'd laugh about one week and be raging/crying over the next, so you're not mad at all.

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