Don't want to go into details, but I was really impressed with myself last night. Found out a close friend had been lying to me (again) and let rip. Firstly in the garden, and then down the phone to the friend.
(There's far more to this than the lying, the lies were just the straw that broke the camel's back.)
I know this sounds a bizarre thing to be so happy about, but up to now I would bottle anything like this up and turn the anger in on myself. Last night I found myself pacing the house, kicking the furniture and shouting out loud. I was on my own, so no-one heard other than my 'friend' who refused to listen to more for more than 30 seconds.
I don't know where me and this friend go from here. I think he's finally got the message I'm not happy! But I'm just so chuffed that I was able to let it out.
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2 years of counselling - it's working
DowntonAbbess · 16/11/2012 15:32
Anger can be good. I have a bit right now, apparently I have post traumatic stress disorder which is good, at least I know where my anger comes from.
I impressed myself last week, a man shouted @ my child (8) 'shut your trap up' then I came back from the shop my 8 year old told me.
I shouted 'Excuse me, next time you feel the need to shout, try an adult like me, you may get a better f@cking answer, stop picking on the children', so the wife, who is known to be very very hard 
walked out, she seen me ripping up a box and bashing my recycling, she ran into her house, the man hid in shed. 
Get it all out.
I think anger can be good if controlled, I don't believe in 'anger management' I mean how do you manage anger? I do believe we can control our anger, sadly I have no control of mine right now, I find stomping around with my dog on long walks helps, even if in my head I am shouting at people, someday I think 'OMG where did THAT come from' some days I just wake up angry. I have a another forum I visit and a few people there have anger issues...can be good fun if we are all on an angry day! I learn lots of new words. 
Oh I couldn't we get very angry! (sorry about the name its those naughty fuckers on the sweary thread they warp my mind in a good way).
My lines usually resemble, so you think your are fucked up? I think I could make you 50 shades more fucked up, your are vile, repulsive, your parents killed themselves after you were born, when they realised what they had brought into the world, you are too good for this world, you are too good for hell, you are ass-wipe, in fact an ass-wipe is too good for you, you are a maggot and worm, a few chromosomes short of a human..... and did I mentioned you smell like fish dump!
I think I best just stop right now
So, here is todays feelings over someone......
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a festering pustule on a weasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a technicolor yawn. And did I mention that you smell?
You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn't crawl out of a normal egg, either, but rather a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late.
Normal???
A tip for counselling, make room for a sleep, I get very tired after counselling
Trouble is Wankarella, I'm finding your post very funny, and if I try to remember it when I'm next angry I may end up laughing instead...
I think my favourite is "You have all the appeal of paper cut" that's really sharp....
I'd worry about saying putrescent wrong...
Fantastic tips though. thanks! 
Oh that wankeralla person who hasnowchangedhername cannot say half of what she types at people 
Very amusing when reading back, when not in an angry mood..... no idea where it all comes from
Downtown thank you I am fine, I just wish someone would... erm, leave me alone or take a overdose of nastiness and turn into .... Christmas Tree.
Can you tell I am all angered out today ?
Dc are also fine, never going back to that place ever ever again, that night was my longest in a while, I had to leave the thread and change the name, to try remove it but lets just say in-laws will see DC for lunch, park etc all within my walking distance. 
No more sleep-overs, ever. Those pair are worse than a paper-cut, worse than carrot fuelled vomit, worse a dog shit after the dog has had a full Sunday lunch leftover, headlice are better than them, may their life be full of rain beetles, worms, and spikey tarantula, they created a monster, who should have been killed at birth. oops!
Wow I am on a good day here [promise]
I have nee-naws driving past 10 times per day, I feel safe
Lottapianos Let it out here if you wish, it only gets deleted if someone reports it? I promise I won't
You must get the anger out to move on and control it, I think. Will shout at my Therapist next week about THAT.
Stupid image of a female, with her hard-ass chairs guaranteed to give you back-ache in one hour, I want a COUCH/BED like the movies. 
Stupid cretin, I wonder is she is a few qualifications short of a Therapist?
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Thanks QuiteQuiet Sounding off on MN is very therapeutic and it helps so much to know that other people go through the same stuff. Mental health issues/stress/anxiety/depression (whatever you prefer to call it) are so isolating.
QuiteQuiet, I gave myself a severe bollocking yesterday too - said out loud all of the dreadful things I think about myself. It was bloody horrible but I actually felt relieved afterwards because Ive been feeling this way for donkey's years but have always kept a very tight lid on it. How do you feel now you have given words to how you feel?
Lottapianos
If I am honest, I feel a bit embarrassed at first. Then I feel better. I lose my anger and look back at some of things that come out of my crazyoid head and laugh, it is normal to feel guilty, you would be 'a few chromosomes short of human' if you didn't
Sorry about all the random z here and there my American Dictionary has a lot to answer for.....
I done something last week and am still a little embarrassed by it, see a mum, a few doors down shouted at my child...
So this Mum, does not generally pick on children she 'gets the parents'
So, I left my child who is far from perfect for 5 minutes to go the local shop, came back, to hear 'shut yur trap' (Scottish)
Indeed it was 'the hard-ass Mums partner' by the time I managed to STOMP outside he was in his shed, so I shouted down...3 gardens away
'Who thought it was a good idea to pick on my 8 year old?'
A child answered 'my step-dad charlie'
Me: Can you get Charlie out of his shed please?
Charlie popped his head out.
Me: In future if you feel the need to shout 'shut yer trap' you may wish to try me, see shouting at 8 year old is not my style and you will get a much better answer from an ADULT like me.....
Charlie ran back into his shed.
So I was still overly angry, so decided to attack a box via a recycling bin whilst glaring at 'the house', then the Mum who likes to beat up 'the parents' popped her head out her door, seen my face and ran back in
So I felt good at the time, angry but good, then the guilt set in.....
I had Therapy the next day and asked her about this conversation, she said it was 'inappropriate' 
So apparently I know need to work on my anger issues.
I can honestly say I have never felt anger like I do just now, it is not with me all the time, it just comes over me, like a black cloud. I have had some dark thought, such as smashing into someone car....(I have an airbag) Thankfully a rational thought usually backs that thought up with 'don't be stupid woman you will kill yourself', so I have had to remove my car from myself until I get past the 'dark thought'.
It's normal to feel what you feel, just let it ALL out and deal with it, break it all down and talk it all out, I actually threatened to rip some men apart limb by limb last week in group Therapy, thankfully that has finished as I think I was beginning to scare the other Women, I wasn't like this until I started Group Counselling, my body has been taken over by a very overly happy/angry/crying/panic attack/flashbacks/night-terrors person. (who sometimes has so many thoughts she talks to herself)
Apparently it is post traumatic stress disorder?? I don't know, better than thinking 'Oh dear I may be heading for the hospital with the men in white coats'.
Stick with it, all normal imo!!
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