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Relationships

dh making me sad

11 replies

alexsmum · 31/08/2005 15:28

dh is hating his job at the moment and desperate to get out.i realise this is making him unhappy but it's spilling over into every other aspect of our lives and is making me feel awful.
no matter what i do , it doesn't seem to make him happy.
i feel like he's being horrible to me all the time and i feel like my attempts to make htings better seem like me being desperate.he denies he's being horrible, but thats how i feel.rejected and ignored.
i feel powerless.
don't know what to do..hope someone can help.

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KBear · 31/08/2005 15:33

I understand exactly how you feel - my DH is in the same boat and I told him the other day he needs anger management! Am also looking for a solution to this.

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Yorkiegirl · 31/08/2005 15:34

Message withdrawn

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alexsmum · 31/08/2005 15:35

oh kbear.it's horrid isn't it?
dh doesn't get angry, just kind of goes in on himself.he's fine with the kids but it's like i'm just one more chore on the list.

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alexsmum · 31/08/2005 15:36

hes applying for jobs left right and centre. he has an application in for a job in scotland and i'm willing to consider going that far if it will make him happy but he doesn't seem to get that i'm on his side.

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Yorkiegirl · 31/08/2005 15:41

Message withdrawn

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Enthusia · 31/08/2005 15:42

Know exactly how you feel. My DH went very arrogant, introverted and defensive when he hated his last job. I hardly saw him because of the job and he was stressed and unhappy when he was at home. Tried talking to him about it at the time but he couldn't see my point of view, thought I was just making things harder. However, at the beginning of August he started his new job and it is like I have my early boyfriend and fiancee back. Now when I talk to him about the dreaded last job he can completely see how I felt and feels terrible. I can also see just how much it was affecting him as well now. It must have been dire to change him so much! I just hope your DH can do something about his predicament and then realise how it is/was effecting the family. We found a little time off helped my DH clear his head, get his priorities straight.

I really hope something changes for you. But def know how you feel. Hugs!!!

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alexsmum · 31/08/2005 15:47

i tried talking to him last night.earlier in the day i had tried to be physically affection to him and he brushed me off really harshly. i pointed out that it made me feel really bad etc. he apologised , saying he didn't mean to hurt me but as soon as i started talking further about the way things are he got cross and was like' i've said sorry!' in a really angry voice.
we always go to bed at the same time so that we can have a chat and a cuddle in bed before we go to sleep.but now he's staying up late, watching tv alone.
things are pretty crap.

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alexsmum · 31/08/2005 15:48

he had 10 days off work earlier this month...lovely! really nice time together.its def work.

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seb1 · 31/08/2005 15:49

When will he know about the job he has applied for? Is he only in for the Scottish one is there nothing more local?

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alexsmum · 31/08/2005 15:50

no he's got lots of applications in. the scottish one seems most promising.

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KBear · 31/08/2005 15:53

We've been on hols for two weeks and after the first two days of grumpiness we had a lovely time. He's going back to work tomorrow so he'll be a nightmare tonight probably.

I have clarified that it is his job not me that's making him so miserable though and if your DH has too then I would relax a little bit and try to weather the storm.

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