so unsure - sorry long!

[prettyfly1]

hi guys,

as you know i have met someone knew. He out did himself this weekend by taking care of everything, including my son while i was sick which no one has ever done for me. he is responsible, owns his house, is ambitious and bright and really nice to me. Problem is i am just not sure about him. He was really nasty to his ex and has admitted to staying with her for so long (1 yr 18 mts) because he couldnt afford to buy on his own, calls her fat and unnatractive and when her granddad died ignored her. I know she was possesive and is trying to be clever about staying in his life which winds him up but still! I have been with him loads and he is so patient and lovely to my boy yet doesnt want kids of his own and said he would leave an ex who got pregnant. He has been treated very badly by women but can a leopard change some very ugly spots. Its like there is a cold streak running right through him and yet he could not be more lovely to me. On one hand i think if he can do it to one................. but on the other i remind myself of just how nasty i have been in my past and how annoyed i would be if someone held it against me now. Maybe i am just being scared because i am behaving totally out of character spending lots of time with someone and letting them take care of me but i just dont know whats right. i cant afford to get hurt again. am i being paranoid??

[mumtosomeone]

I would talke it easy and see how things develop!
But eachr relationshinp brings out a different side in people! if he hasnt been violent then I think,yes he can change.
I am a different person with my DH to i was with my ex and my ex is also very different to his new partner!

[crazydazy]

Yeah I agree with Mumtosomeone. If you feel you have met someone you are "equal" to then you show them more respect, I firmly believe that.

Hang in there...

[prettyfly1]

i have thought of that but isnt that kind of like pesuading yourself that because it is you they will be different. like woman who will date a man you know is a serial adulterer but obviously she is the one so it wont happen. or am i just way too cynical. i just think surely his ex was treated nicely once too and look where she is now. been there before. aaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh - i think way to much.

[Tasa]

you're answering your own question-go woth your gut instinct and you believe that he is capable of being cold and nasty, who needs that? Hold out for more - sorry of that's not what you wnat to hear

[prettyfly1]

no i wanted a selection of opinions cheers