Hi Chocdays, I don't know if you are still around but I wanted to let you know that we have our review appt tomorrow and we are going to ask for further tests for DH. Hopefully funding will come through for our next NHS cycle soon.

Hope you are well

Gill x

Today was the official test day - BFN. I have emailed Hammersmith Hospital my result (they don't do blood tests now unless chckeing on a BFP) and now need to wait for a review appointment before I can trigger funding for the next cycle. Review appointments can take months and so can the funding application so I am not expecting to do the next cycle until possibly October. Anything earlier will be a bonus. I will try to push for a cancellation though as this has served me well in the past.

How long did you have to wait for your second cycle?

I know I need to give my body a break though and get 6 weeks of drugs and emotional upheaval out of my system. I'm not doing too bad at the moment though but I kow what I am like - things catch up with me much later on and then they hit me hard!

How are you and when is your work meeting?

Hi Gilly.

It is OK - and normal to feel all the things you are feeling. As I said I was at a loss after the first cycle too. It is important to grieve.

Cx

Hi Choc,
I am utterly gutted, I wanted a baby for Christmas so badly

I had tx last Monday and right up until Friday the progesterone was really making itself felt - boobs ached, very tired and feeling nauseous. Then by Friday afternoon the period pains started on and off and I had a break through bleed on Monday afternoon and more stuff today.

I knew I wasn't pregnant because when I was in 2006 I knew before I even tested. I had the most horrible taste in my mouth a week before I was due to test. I now always look for that symptom and have never had it since.

Period 12 days after EC is about right for my cycle given that I have a maximum of 26 days cycle. I'll still test on Friday (2ww +2 days!) but it seems a bit pointless now. Contacting the clinic after testing triggers a review appoint though God knows when that will be. Hopefully we can then start the process of applying for second NHS funded cycle. If I had an idea of timescales I may even consider fitting in a private cycle but I think my body (and my mind) needs a rest from all the turmoil. I have a pretty full on summer at work and we have just had an offer accepted on a house so I guess we will be doing a lot of painting to keep me busy. I really wanted to designate one of the rooms as the nursery though and now it is more likely to be a sewing/craft room for me. I don’t know what to do with the photo of the blasts. I have it in my bag but I cannot bear to look at it now

I'm back at work from today. No doubt it'll hit me good and proper in a few days, maybe on Saturday when I am working at a museum family event (oh joy!)

LalaLL - thanks you very much for responding. At last my work has called a meeting to give us all a better idea of timing / the selection process and vol redundancy.
No doubt I'll have more qs then!

Gilly. So sorry. I got my af early before the test date on my first round too. Yes - do the test (assume hh still do a blood test?) as they need that to trigger your consultation (you are entitled to one after the treatment to review - I didn't realise this and waited for ages when I didn't have to). Given your blasts seemed to do well until the end then chatting to the senior embryologist may help you understand what they'd do differently next time.
Personally, I needed to do the test to feel I had completed the process - and this enabled me to grieve. I found it very hard to handle as I think I'd got it into my head that if all else fails there is always IVF and when that didn't work I felt at a total loss. Our eventual response (after tears etc) was to give ourselves a very hedonsitic summer (I got very very drunk with some very good friends who still tease me about it ) - after such a long time of ttc we really needed a time of not being good. We were both then ready for a detox to prepare for round two.

As always, I am around to chat at any time. Thinking of you, be kind to yourself.

C x

Hi Choc hope you have had a lovely Easter break.

I'm afraid that the latest update is that my period started this afternoon 12 days after EC so I guess that we are out for this cycle. My test day is Fri (16 days after EC!) so I'll still test but it will be no surprise when it comes up negative

Re: redundancy

Yes, they can make you redundant while on maternity leave (it happened to me) but they do have to jump through more hoops to do it. This will mean that if you want to stay you can put up a lot more of a fight against the redundancy and they will have to prove that there is no other role available to you or if you want to leave (which I did), they would be wise to give you an enhanced package. If you belong to a union, get the lawyer to go through what they are doing very, very carefully; if you don't, then it may be worth speaking to a solicitor. Ultimately you do hold a lot of cards. From reading the thread, they haven't actually said your job is one of the ones at risk though.

Thank Choc, I really needed that! I was just so shocked at the huge come down on Monday and I was very unprepared for it. I think I was just protecting myself for a bad outcome. I love the fact that your little one beat the odds . I am feeling a lot better today and much more positive. I talk to my blasts and tell them to snuggle in for the long ride. DH gave 'us' a pep talk and I have virtually horizontal since returning from hospital on Monday. The dishwasher won't drain and the flat is a tip but I am not lifting a finger (very unlike me). I have indulged in every auction and property programme on TV as well as Diagnosis Murder, Pirates of the Caribbean, West Wing and Mad Men. There is a limit to how much TV a woman can watch! I need to get out today as I am suffering from a bit of cabin fever so we are going to the Picasso exhibition this afternoon. Then tomorrow we are off to Harrogate to stay with family for Easter. I have also been listening to the Zita West IVF relaxation CD which I very good for visualization and my Taize meditation CD.

As my Dh just said "IVF is never easy is it"

I was nigh on certain our 2nd (successful) attempt hadn't worked and was very down - then I started to worry my lack of positive attitude had affected the outcome.
The two you have an board are in absolutely the best place they can be. It is very likely if you hadn't gone to blasts they'd have chosen two of the ones that didn't make it - now you have the two strongest ones with you. Try to imagine them nestling down into your lining and getting all the goodness from you.

Try to get some rest - happy to chat tonight or tomorrow.
Choc X

Thanks Choc

Today went well but it has been a very emotional and overwhelming day. Out of the 6 we only had 2 blasts left of medium/good quality (but more towards the medium) to transfer. 2 others stopped dividing at 8 cells and 2 had started to degenerate so we had nothing to freeze.

I have been very down this afternoon. After what has been a text book cycle and having good eggs to take to blasts to loose four on the day of transfer has been a blow I was just not expecting or ready for. The fact that the two that got transferred are of medium quality is also getting be down as the pessimist in my has just written this cycle off. After crying or sleeping for most of the afternoon and really struggling to conjure up a single positive image to hang on to I am feeling a little better but I really need to build my confidence if anything is going to work. Sorry for sounding selfish I know so many people struggle to with IVF and all its stumbling blocks that I should consider myself lucky I have two little blasts inside me.