Anyone else want to reach into their radio and slap Tom Archer?

(67 Posts)
OliviaPeacein2013Mumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 14-Jan-13 19:10:24

It can't just be me?!?

Whiteshoes Thu 17-Jan-13 00:05:35

I salute you R4. I wish the Neil/Ruth farming troubleshooters would sit down at the bloody Bridge Farm computer with its amazing Tom-installed software and explain to us how the hell any of it makes sense.

How do the kids get their money for example? Does Helen own the shop and negotiate prices for those bloody leeks with St Pat and Tony? Or do they pay her salary, and did she take a pay cut as a result of poo-gate? Bah. it all sounds so ropey and small time. Can't believe they all survive on that and the magic sausages.

bigbadbarry Thu 17-Jan-13 13:37:58

I'm a couple of weeks behind but I thought it was Tom who was broody and Brenda not quite yet downtrodden enough to have a baby with that idiot not ready yet?

superfluouscurves Thu 17-Jan-13 16:38:45

It's the way he talks ... like reading from a script ... oh......hang on a moment [hmmm]

ArtexMonkey Thu 17-Jan-13 21:37:14

PMSL at GrendelsMum on this thread grin

Tom is just horrible. I hope Brenda tells him to fuck off soon. She used to have talent and ambition and she was going places, now she is just Matt n Lil's dogsbody, they are both horrible to her face, and they talk about her like she's some sort of barely sentient rhesus monkey when she's not there, and THEN she has to spend her evenings listening to Tom moan about how everyone's eyes keep glazing over when he starts on about how he's thinking of taking over another unit in the industrial estate zzzzzz

I want her to have a Falling Down style breakdown in the village shop and go on a rampage. She's earned it fgs.

Tommy Thu 17-Jan-13 22:33:31

I would like to slap Tom too - am happy to form a queue if necessary.
Brenda is lovely and he doesn't deserve her
I also find Tony's delivery extremely zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........

GrendelsMum Fri 18-Jan-13 09:57:21

I think you're PMSL at my DH and his sausage empire, ArtexMonkey smile

I wish Brenda would have a breakdown - but maybe the Matt / Lil storyline is going to bust up with Amside collapsing and Brenda making a break for freedom. I mean, for heaven's sake, she does actually have qualifications and experience and instead she sits around making Lillian's coffee and asking Matt to get back to people. Except she's never in the office.

OliviaPeacein2013Mumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 18-Jan-13 10:27:45

Any reason for Amside to collapse?
Has MAtt spend all the dosh on Joyce's new flat?

seeker Fri 18-Jan-13 10:33:41

The trouble is I couldn't decide who to slap first.

Will Grundy, for one.

Oh, and bloody Oliver for not realising Ed was in trouble. I thought they were business partners.

Kiriwawa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:40:55

I have a weird soft spot for Tom. He's such a wazzock and so unaware that he amuses me.

Whining Will Grundy on the other hand ...

Salteena Sat 19-Jan-13 17:08:32

I am an equal opportunity hater - I loathe all of them on a rotating basis, so as to be fair and not leave anyone out grin

However, I hate Tom possibly more than all the rest. The Archers messageboard on the R4 site, to which I refer more often than I should, is very entertaining on the subject of how he could possibly be making money from this ludicrous 'luxury pork-based hampers' business.

Let's be honest, how many of us hire a holiday cottage and think 'what I really would like waiting for me when I arrive is a lovely hamper full of sausages, bacon and assorted pork products.'
hmm

merrymonsters Sat 19-Jan-13 19:17:55

I want to slap Ed. Every time his partner (can't remember her name) says something about their money problems, he says "I can take care of my family!" He drives me nuts.

Lilymaid Sat 19-Jan-13 19:24:11

Let's be honest, how many of us hire a holiday cottage and think 'what I really would like waiting for me when I arrive is a lovely hamper full of sausages, bacon and assorted pork products.'
I would - but not Tom Archer's!

bigbadbarry Sat 19-Jan-13 20:02:40

merry monsters you mean Emmurr. Who is a brilliant actress, I think, because she is perfectly portraying a young woman turning into her mother. Same intonation and everything smile

seeker Sat 19-Jan-13 22:23:33

I am also fascinated by how Bridge Farm can support so many people....

GrendelsMum Sun 20-Jan-13 15:04:18

DH's theory regarding Ruth and David is that they're thrifty and worry a lot about managing the farm's outgoings but actually quite well off (because they always talk about money). Might be the same for Bridge Farm?

R4 Sun 20-Jan-13 22:33:46

Does your DH actually listen to TA Grendel or is he pretending, to humour you? wink

David's family have owned Brookfield since God was a boy. Pat and Tony OTOH were tenant farmers until fairly recently when they bought the farm from BL. They have a whopping mortgage to service and hence their outgoings are much higher.

Butterycrumble Sun 20-Jan-13 22:40:19

I vote for Brenda slapping tom and moving on to twatting will then lovely Linda can take her for tea and scones.

I hate them all really, dunno why I still listen. I even miss Nigel.

Crikeyblimey Sun 20-Jan-13 22:49:29

Every time I hear Tom Archer these days I have an uncontrollable urge to slap him.

I suspect Brenda will declare she wants a baby bu Tom will say he has to "focus on the core business" or some such bollocks and the time isn't right. Brenda will hook up with the lovely new Herd Manager (whose wife has probably been bludgeoned to death and is under the patio of their old house). She will get pregnant and the day the baby is born Herd Manager Man will be carted off by the police.

Ponders Sun 20-Jan-13 23:26:47

'the lovely new Herd Manager (whose wife has probably been bludgeoned to death and is under the patio of their old house)'

worse than that - she's a social worker

Crikeyblimey Sun 20-Jan-13 23:36:44

Ah yes - so she is. Well she's probably not been murdered yet then. She will no doubt take Georgie and Sciatica into care before Ed bludgeons her to deadness but Will will get the blame and "go down"!

Jajas Sun 20-Jan-13 23:44:19

The Herd Manager is definitely suspect hmm

SomethingChanged Mon 21-Jan-13 17:11:15

Why is Tony so slow on the uptake? 'Has something gone on while I was on that completely unnecessary errand to get ice cream? In January?' Tom did well over Christmas though to prove there is a character more annoying than James.

GrendelsMum Mon 21-Jan-13 18:26:27

R4 - hmmm, that could explain the mysterious liking for Tom Archer and the belief that Bridge Farm could in some way be a viable business. DH is listening to a fantasy Archers going on in his own head. Or maybe he tunes the radio to a parallel universe where the episodes feature a saintly, sympathetic Tom and spendthrift self-centred Brenda.

You're right about Pat and Tony's high outgoings (which if we accept it can support 4 adults and a toddler does suggest that DH is right about Brookfields actually being quite profitable and Ruth and David quite well off).

GrendelsMum Mon 21-Jan-13 18:27:29

Butterycrumble - the only rule of the Archers is that you must hate them all. Every last one. We blush and mutter when we have to admit that we quite enjoyed an episode.

FER1 Wed 23-Jan-13 04:54:03

I think Brenda will dump Tom - she seizes up like our boiler every time he mentions getting married (remember when he took her to that spot where he wants to build a house a few months ago? awwwwkward). She's a career gal she is.

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