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Lovely house for sale, but picture 11 made me pmsl

53 replies

TerribleTantrums · 21/06/2013 13:27

Way out of my price range but near my friend's house so I had a look out of curiosity. I bet those sign-post things cost a fortune but it would have to go if it was my house. Here. I mean, really, how likely is anyone to get lost and need direction in less than an acre?

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RippingYarns · 21/06/2013 13:31

i think the signpost is the best feature tbh

it all looks a bit staged for my liking, a bit too new



Grin

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TerribleTantrums · 21/06/2013 13:36

It is new-ish. It was built during the Celtic Tiger, they finished it after the economy went to shit but it was never lived in. Now that the market is beginning to recover a bit there are quite a few of this type of expensive newish build coming onto the market. They do tend to have a show-house look generally, but I think this one would be quite nice when softened with my style of interior design, you know, knee-deep in plastic tat and small chocolatey hand-prints on the wall. Grin

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TiggerWearsATriteSmile · 21/06/2013 13:46

Money just can't buy taste.
Awful monstrosity

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OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 21/06/2013 13:46

terrible you sound like you might know the location did you grow up down the road like I did Grin

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Dumpylump · 21/06/2013 13:50

Is it just me, or does the blurb about it read like it was written by someone for whom English is not their first language?

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iseenodust · 21/06/2013 13:51

That first picture with lights makes it look like a pub!

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OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 21/06/2013 13:54

I've just re-read your OP and see that it's near your friend's house, scratch my question!

Also re the blurb - I thought epicurean was something to do with food, not houses?!

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TerribleTantrums · 21/06/2013 13:54

Nearby OnTheBottom but at a higher altitude. Same parish. Love your name BTW.

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OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 21/06/2013 14:11
Flowers
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RippingYarns · 21/06/2013 14:33

iseenodust snap Grin

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Flibbertyjibbet · 21/06/2013 14:47

What made me pmsl is that almost all the pics are from the outside. With just one of empty stairs and hall, one of a huge bedroom with a bed bunged over in one corner,and a library with all the books higgledy-piggledy on the shelves like someone just knocked them all over.

No pics of the kitchen, other bedrooms,bathrooms etc etc. Bizarre. Unless the seller ran out of money and these rooms are not finished..... after they spent all their money on the landscaping!

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wonkylegs · 21/06/2013 14:59

I hate the stair spindles with a passion they look like cast iron garden furniture.

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pootlebug · 21/06/2013 15:54

What a triumph of money over taste.

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ThePurpleCarrot · 21/06/2013 16:05

"Here guests will contentedly meander through the 1.5 acres of grounds, along 250 metres of brookside paths (nocturnally illuminated) observing trout scurrying for cover in the pristine waters."

hahaaaaaahaaah...trout scurrying. Have you ever seen a trout scurry? No but I've eaten a king fish curry.

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OrmirianResurgam · 21/06/2013 16:10

Oh good lord! Shock And it's lit up like a high security prison.

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GreenEggsAndNaiceHam · 21/06/2013 16:15

Thank you, I need a change of username and now I have so many to choose from. Yongreeneggsandnaiceham

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JustGiveMeFiveMinutes · 21/06/2013 16:16

I want to sort those bookshelves out.

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Brillig · 21/06/2013 16:19

wonky, yes, exactly.

The signpost is hilarious. In fact the whole thing is. Yet again proof that having money is no guarantee of good taste Grin

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xigris · 21/06/2013 16:28

Hilarious! I read 'meeting of yon waters' as 'meeting of yon wankers' Grin.

I've just read the full description which is very entertaining. What I want know is, WTH is a 'vacuum system'? is it some sort of magical hoovering device?

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ThePurpleCarrot · 21/06/2013 16:30

Could they have done anything more to make the bedroom looks the coldest most unattractive/unappealing bedroom ever?

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ThePurpleCarrot · 21/06/2013 16:32

and the horrid cheap internal doors - yuk. My favourite bit is the EAs blurb. Hilarious.

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CanadianJohn · 21/06/2013 17:03

xigris, a central vacuum system is like a very powerful hoover fixed in one location, with ducts throughout the house. You plug a hose, sometimes with a powerhead, into the ducts. The central vac does the sucking, the dust is filtered to a container, and the exhaust air is vented outside.

Quite common over here, and not that expensive (about $1200, say £700, for a cheap system). Because the business part of the "hoover" is fixed in one location, the motor can be very heavy and powerful, and the external exhaust keeps the air in the house cleaner.

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Erlack · 21/06/2013 19:38

What a bizarrely presented house. My favourite bit is about the "bouquet of the shrubbery delighting the senses". Yes. I just love the smell of...shrubs. Grin

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TerribleTantrums · 21/06/2013 19:47

I hadn't actually read the blub, I never really do. It is bad, isn't it? They must have got an office junior to do it, or somebody's wife who fancies herself as a romantic novelist

I would have worries about a house that had never been lived in, especially empty for four or five years and then tarted up. I would imagine that it's never had a proper snagging procedure, because you often don't realise that something is wrong until you are living there and using things.

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hermioneweasley · 21/06/2013 20:27

There's a weird lack of photos of inside the house. And too many of the ornamental bridge.

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