Parent's night tonight. I want to bring something up that annoyed me, not sure if I am being totally PFBy. Come and tell me what you think.

[ElizabethWakefield]

DD is 9 in P5 (in Scotland so that is a class of 9 and 10 yr olds) They have a newly qualified teacher this year, she seems fine, but she can be quite sarcastic with the children which they don't always get, apart from that, I have no issues with her or anything.

So, all year DD has had pretty much the same homework every single night, putting 5 words in a sentence, she hates doing it, gets bored and moans every single night.

At the end of Feb they are told that instead of their usual homework, they are being given a month to do their own individual project, which is to be done in the evenings instead of usual homework. It was to be started on 1st March and handed in on 29th, so giving them 4 weeks to do it. Each child in the class was given a country to research and a list of things to include, like festivals, famous people, capital city etc.

DD got really into it and loved doing it, spent time on the internet, went to the library, learned some words, cut out pictures from a travel brochures, spent ages doing it.

3 weeks in, they had to take it in for the teacher to do a progress check. So by this point DD had done 20 pages, the other kids had done 5 or 6. Teacher praised some other children's work and said to DD "You have done a bit much, start to finish off now" DD said she still had a couple of things she wanted to add in, the teacher said she would rather she didn't, but was up to her. DD came out of school saying her project must be rubbish as the teacher gave a positive comment to everyone else (her friend confirmed this) so from that night DD didn't do anything else and totally lost enthusiasm.

They had to take their projects in again on friday, for another inspection, before handing it on on Monday (yesterday) for a final check. DD had done nothing at all since the last check. Again, the teacher commented to some children that she was looking forward to reading theirs etc, to dd she commented, she didn't know where she would find the time to read it. (but not in a nice way)

So over the weekend DD only added a summary page at the end at that was it. Handed it in yesterday and got a "Here comes DD and her novel"

Now I don't know if I am being PFB or whatever, but I feel the teacher was a bit nasty, DD was so into the project and was really enjoying doing it and was quite proud of it, and the teacher just totally put her off. Surely it is not the job of a teacher to knock the work of a child.

Now, if she couldn't be arsed reading them, why not say, to do 10 pages or whatever on a certain country, rather than giving a month.

So, it's still annoying me, as it only happened yesterday, I want to bring it up tonight (to be honest if it wasn't parents night I wouldn't really make an issue out of it) just not sure how to word it withou sounding like I am wanting her to praise DD, which I don't, I just don't want her to be put off learning.

[IngridFletcher]

She need someone to point out that children rarely understand sarcasm and just tend to take what is said at face value and get hurt.

I would bring it up certainly.

[hahaimawitch]

You are not being precious. This teacher sounds awful, who in their right mind would knock a child down when they are so enthusistic. All this demonstrates is that an apathetic attitude and not trying is better.

If you don't have any joy tonight I would go to the head.

Teachers like this defy belief.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

sounds like your dd worked really hard on this and that hasn't been rewarded! I think the teacher sounds pretty mean, tbh, and you should definitely say something.

[IndigoSky]

I don't think you are being pfb at all. I would raise it in similar terms to your post which makes your points really well.

The teacher should have been full of praise for your dd and recognised the huge amount of effort and enthusiasm she had put into the project. Frankly, the teacher sounds like a lazy cow.

I'd be tempted to make a sarky comment of my own to the teacher and see how she likes that.

Good luck for tonight.

[MathsMadMummy]

YANBU or PFB or anything... that's quite rude of the teacher. How about just saying that your DD was a bit upset as she felt her hard work had gone unappreciated?

My parents brought me up to believe you always go the extra mile, so to speak, with schoolwork - like your DD I probably would've done loads more than most, and I'm pretty sure my teachers would've been over the moon!

Standing out from the crowd by working hard should be encouraged. Not admonished for not conforming to factory teacher expectations!

So yeah, do bring it up

[MathsMadMummy]

let us know how it goes BTW!

[AMumInScotland]

That's dreadful! The teacher doesn't sound like she has any real understanding of children. You could take the line that "DD was so disappointed that you didn't like her project" then when she says it wasn't like that, you could repeat the comments and say that was the clear message that DD got from them.

[ElizabethWakefield]

Thanks everyone, it's good to hear that you don't all think I am being PFB or unreasonable.

I just felt really bad for DD she had spent so much time on it and was really proud of it and I think was quite excited about taking it in, and then came home so disappointed and disinterested it was such a shame.

I will definitely be bringing it up tonight then. As I have said I am not looking for heaps of praise for DD or anything, just for her to at least acknowledge that she has done a good job or something, anything but make her feel bad.

[amidaiwish]

def bring it up, and i wouldn't do it in passing either. i would tell her exactly as you have posted so she can't brush it off or dismiss it. what a bitch and this could do lasting damage to your dd's confidence and enthusiasm and attitude to school. make sure your dd knows you are proud of her project and that you are very very cross with the teacher. take her side 1000%. she will remember this episode i am sure and it's important her sense of "unjustness" is recognised by you and that she knows she is in the right and the teacher is rubbish.

apart from that is she generally ok with your dd?

[Rockbird]

She sounds awful I would definitely bring that up. Quite apart from stamping on your DD's project, sarcasm has no place in a primary school anyway. How are children ever supposed to be motivated to learn if this is what they get?

Good luck and let us know how you get on

[amidaiwish]

i feel really strongly about this as you might have gathered! i think this could do serious damage to her willingness to put all her effort into something in future.

[Lutyens]

Oooo This is bringing back memories of a certain teacher I had in secondary school. For some reason, she took a dislike to me and used to go out of her way to make sarcastic comments about my work. My mum encouraged me to take the attitude that I'd work extra hard and shut her up, but that really didn't last long as I was so de-motivated. In the end I barely passed in her subject even though I got distinction in all the others.

Sorry, I realise this has nothing to do with your dd, but just wanted to say I empathise with her frustration. I can't understand why people who cannot encourage children become teachers! Or at the very lest, don't actively discourage them FFS. Angry for you and your dd. Do tell her in no uncertain terms what a piss-poor teacher she is

[Shaz10]

I am a teacher. It's not ok. Please bring it up.

[Bucharest]

Not being precious at all.
I used to get comments like that from the wanker that taught me in primary school in the 70s. Getting fed up with his sarcastic comments about me being Miss Clever Socks just for knowing stuff I started to mess up on purpose, just not to get 100%.

Definitely bring it up, and take it further if necessary.

And tell Dd from us she's fab to have done such a great project!

[CaptainPicardsPineapple]

Not PFBish at all.

It beggars belief that she would discourage a child from doing work? Whaaat? Is she stupid? That's a major part of her job, encouraging children to be interested and to learn.

Definitely bring it up.

IngridFletcher is right, kids just don't get sarcasm often. If you were to take the things she said as though she meant them they would be terribly hurtful and disheartening. I'm not surprised your DD lost all interest and enthusiasm, poor girl.

[iamreallysilly]

Agree with everybody else, also teacher should have advised on length if that was to be a prob. V V Annoying, & teachers attitude not acceptable

[sfxmum]

that is awful sounds like she should question her skills not your dd's

hope you get it sorted that is no way of talking to a keen child

[ElizabethWakefield]

Apart from this she is generally fine with my DD. I know 2 other parents have gone in and confronted her and accused her of not liking their child. I am not one for doing this, really, unless there is call for it, and up until now I have had no issues with her at all. But this has really annoyed me.

I have told DD I think her project is great, and I have encouraged her to show it off to family members, who have been suitably impressed So I am hoping that will help. I just worry that it will have put DD off for the next time they get work to do on their own and she wont be as enthusiastic or put in as much effort.

I think the thing is DD is clever, so she is pretty much left to her own devises by the teacher or just expected to do well, and I worry she is being neglected slightly. I also think she is pushing DD too hard in other areas too, so I might bring that up too.

See, I thought I had no other issues, turns out I do

I will report back!

[DramaInPyjamas]

I would bring it up as well. It's a shame that your daughters work isn't being encouraged after the time and effort she put into it.

ps - I'm going to parents evening tonight, and I am in Scotland too. Wonder if it's the same school!?

[SugarTits]

Agree with everyone else. I wouldn't explain anything to start with, but just say 'would you like to explain what happened with dd's project?' She's likely to wonder what you're talking about and then say well it was a bit long. You can then explain how much effort and enthusiasm had gone into and and ask why this wasn't encouraged. I'd also probably slip in a passive aggressive comment about it being so much more interesting than the previous homework. She was very wrong and very unfair.

[MathsMadMummy]

Hopefully your DD will remember that the project was fun and not worry about the teacher's approval, IYSWIM. Difficult for a child though, I know.

That's a much bigger problem if your DD is being 'left to her own devices'. That is not ok, IMO.

If your DD is finding the spelling boring/easy, maybe she could do other projects instead? Although it doesn't sound like the teacher would be arsed to read them

It reminds me of when I was your DD's age, I was a precocious little madam when it came to spellings! The teacher ran out of spellings to give me, so instead of being annoyed, she gave me special homework (writing news articles etc) - I loved it, teacher took the time to mark it, and TBH I felt quite special

Might be worth suggesting though?

[gramercy]

What a horrible teacher.

I think some teachers can get a bit irritated by bright and enthusiastic children. They seem to think it's their duty to take them down a peg or two.

I would definitely mention it at parents evening. I agree with SugarTits that the best way is to put the ball in the teacher's court and ask her her view on dd's project.

[cece]

I am a teacher too and that sounds awful. Your poor DD.

[FabIsGettingThere]

Newly qualified and already squashing kids enthusiasm? You must say something to her.

My DD is 6 and last month they had a trainee teacher in class for a week and she told dd off for not putting her hand up for school dinners. DD is normally packed lunch and hadn't heard the teacher as well. I know she should always listen but I just feel the trainee needs to pick her battles for telling off the lids.