Head persuading me to end official complaint

[Ketrick]

Hi there, if you've time please tell me what you think. My year 3 child has been hurt by another child over a long period repeatedly. This has involved biting, punching in the privates, being kicked in the stomach and thrown to the ground. My child has never fought back or otherwise provoked such attacks. The same child has also bitten, scratched and kicked (in the head) at least two other children over an eight month period.

I made a stage one complaint to the Head in line with the school's policy. She told me she would exclude the child if he did anything else. He did do something else, and besides which I think excluding an 8 year old without a proper assessment is wrong. She didn't exclude him in any event. I felt offended that she has lied and I made a stage 2 complain to the chair of governors.

She made a series of recommendations. I have no idea whether the Head has got to enact those. I still felt unhappy. The aggressor is undergoing sessions with a teaching assistant who is trained in hosting "group work". I get the feeling that this isn't enough to support this child in changing his behaviour.

There was also a suggestion that my son provoked two attacks once by snatching a playground toy and once by asking the aggressive child to play tag. It was suggested that this justified my son being kicked in the stomach. Also, a supply teacher who taught Year 3 for one term was not interviewed by the Chair. That teacher had told me that she felt, as a very experienced teacher, that the aggressive child needed strong intervention to help him. So for these reasons I have escalated the matter to stage 3.

The Chair has resigned in the meantime (after many years of service). The Head has approached me on two occasions during drop off and more or less urged me to withdraw my complaint. She has said to me that stage 3 really means nothing as is just a check to make sure that the prior complaints process was done properly.

I don't understand really, it seems there is nothing I can do to influence the action the school takes to ensure a child who demonstrates impulsive aggression, frequently, against my child and others, gets properly assessed and supported.

I fear that my child will always have to worry about being attacked by this other child. I feel powerless to stop it.

Please let me know what you think and thank you very much for reading this long post and for sharing your much-valued opinion.

Ketrick.

[Runoutofideas]

Hi,
I would only drop the complaint once the head teacher could prove to me what action had been taken and what had been put in place to ensure that this aggressive behaviour cannot continue. I agree that I do not think exclusion is the correct way to go, however there must be some form of behaviour management strategy which could help the aggressive child. To me it sounds as though the Head is just trying to sweep the problem under the carpet and get you to go away quietly, which is simply not helping anyone. Has a new chair of Governors been appointed? If so I would take it up with them. Not sure how the complaints procedure works, ie stage 1,2,3 etc but I definitely wouldn't drop it.

[brimfull]

obviously stage 3 complaint does mean something or the Head wouldn't be approaching you to revoke it.

If I were you I would dig my heels in until you see results . I'm not sure what the next atge would be though.

Sorry your ds is going through this.
Are the parents of the other children affected also complaining?

[Ketrick]

Thank you Runoutofideas and ggirl for your empathy. I think you are bang on the nail when you say the Head is trying to sweep things under the carpet. It was quite difficult in the first place for me to get hold of the complaints policy document. I get the feeling she just wants the whole matter to go away.

A new Chair has been appointed but she is still being inducted. The school has not followed its own policy by not replying to my complaints in the time frame its set itself, so now there is also an argument to say that it has maladministered its own complaints process. But I will consider taking it to the LA Ombudsman later.

One problem is that the school cannot give me any details about what its doing to help the kid with problems, aside from to say that the Head is of the opinion that neither he nor his family should be referred to any outside agency and that the teaching assistant is working with the boy to improve his behaviour.

Other parents haven't formally complained as there is not publicity about the complaints procedure, although I do know of one parent who now regrets this.

The best I can do is reassure my son that I will fight his corner in the best possible way and to assure him that it is very wrong to go around hurting people.

[Strix]

If I were in your position I would enroll my child in karate. I think the school has made it clear that they are more interested in protecting the school than they are in the welfare of wither your child or the agressive child. And in this environment I would consider it a top priority to ensure my child was capable of defending himself.

[posieparkerfuckityfuck]

Keep going, complaint procedures are there for your protection. You pay this woman's wages and your child is a valuable 'bottom on a seat' that she will want to retain. I would consider contacting ofsted, or at least saying you will, and the LEA. No child should be subjected to violence at school and no Head should be seen to coercing parents to drop complaints.

[MumNWLondon]

Do not back down unless you are happy its all being dealt with - by this I mean that the attacks have totally stopped (eg no further attacks against any child over a 3 month period OR the child has been excluded OR perhaps if they can provide evidence that the child is appropriate supervised at all times).

You have to protect your son, how would you feel if either he or another child were badly injured?

If it was me I would dig my heel in and say that if it wasn't properly dealt with you would be approaching other parents whose children have also been attacked so they can lodge complaints too - or perhaps contact the LEA / OFSTED - no child should have to endure bullying/violence at school.

[Ketrick]

Brilliant replies Strix and Posie. I have looked for a Judo class, but there isn't one single group in the City that I live in, but there is Tae Kwon Doe which he will start next year! I just hope that the other kid doesn't do it too! I am definitely going to raise the matter to the LEA and Ofsted (if the Stage 3 doesn't get responded to with an apology for the school's poor timekeeping) as the school is due an inspection this year and the Head has already attempted to coach parents as to what they should say in their feedback forms to Ofsted.

[MrsGokWantsatidyhouse]

I would write a letter to the LEA outlining everything you have said here in order of what you did and what their response was. Send it to them with copies to the govenors and the head. You will find that thinks will get sorted very quickly.

Also make sure you have a copy of the schools bullying policy annd reference the correct parts in your letter.

If this was an adult doing this to you, you would report them to the police and get them charged. It is not acceptable that other children should be experiancing this bullying.

[Ketrick]

Thank you MrsGok and NWLondon, I agree entirely, and you have galvanised me to stick with my complain. It seems that local authority schools are run on the basis that the Head is the ruler and his or her decisions are final. The Chair could only recommend things and cannot enforce them, and she cannot override any decision by the Head.

Ofsted says this: we are not in a position to:

1. investigate incidents that are

alleged to have taken place

1. judge how well a school

investigated or responded to a
complaint, or

1. mediate between a parent and a

school to resolve a dispute.

The LEA says that they will not judge or change a Head's decisions either. So its a totalitarian regime, I'm afraid. But I can still make like an irritating fly and keep on complaining, now that I've got this far!

[brimfull]

So the LEA and Ofsetd are powerless to override a Heads decision or lack of action?

So the buck stops wiht the head?

That's quite a lot of power isn't it?

[Ketrick]

Yes, ggirl, I think that there is something wrong with the situation when there is no where else to go when you believe a Head Teacher isn't making the right decisions. I think I will consult a lawyer, though, if there is another incident of violence from this boy.

[posieparkerfuckityfuck]

Ofsted have to include complaints in their report don't they? Failing that what about your local paper...

[Honeybarbara]

Ofsted will still want to know about your bad experiences at the school, even if they can't directly do anything.

[Ketrick]

Ofsted can only include complaints in its reports when they have upheld a complaint about the school made to them about the "whole" school. They won't even look at a complaint unless you've followed the procedure up to, and including, complaining to the LEA, which in my case is stage 4. They will not include any consideration of internal complaints or those made to the LEA when they inspect a school. So in other words, fifty parents might complain to a school about a specific issue, but it will never see the light of day as far as the Ofsted report is concerned. Which makes me wonder just how valid those reports are.

[MrsGokWantsatidyhouse]

Get in touch with your local MP. We have elaections coming up, He/she will want to be seen to be doing their job.

[MrsGokWantsatidyhouse]

elections obviously

[Ketrick]

Sadly my local MP was caught up in the recent scandal about expenses and is stepping down at the next election. But I can and will escalate the complaint to the Secretary of State for Education if necessary, although I don't know who that will be by then, probably still Ed Balls.

[MrsGokWantsatidyhouse]

OK, who is the local MP for the oposition? I am sure they will want to get one over the other party.

Also your local councillor.

[Ketrick]

Yes, these are good suggestions. The local councillor is actually a mother of three who all go to the same school! But I feel politicised about it now, and I shall do what ever I can to make the Head understand that she has to use every power she has got to help young kids stop being violent at as early a stage as possible.

[bobblehat]

I wouldn't let it go if it's still going on. You need to get a written response from the head to explain exactly what is being done about the situation. If you do not get this, or you do not feel it is enough then get in contact with the LEA, your local councillor, your local MP.

I'm not usually one for making a fuss, but the school does have a duty of care towards your child, and if they are repeatedly coming home with chunks out of them then the school is failing your child.

[Ketrick]

Thank you bobblehat, I will keep going with it, and I will try not to let it stress me out. I find it hard to face that Head teacher every morning, trying to persuade me not to carry on, but I shall bat it away and get on with it. Thanks for your support.

[lalalonglegs]

She sounds extremely oily, get everything in writing, I suggest letter thus:

Dear Head Teacher

I do not feel that you have dealt satisfactorily with my complaint regarding the assaults on my son. I am extremely concerned that you are attempting to persuade me to drop my complaint although you are unable to offer me any concrete examples of the way this problem has been dealt. You have not been able to reassure me that this child's aggression has been effectively treated.

I have, however, decided not to raise the complaint to stage 3 on the condition that you can provide me by Friday 12 March with a written outline of the measures you have put in place to protect my son from further harm by this child. I would also appreciate an undertaking from you to better publicise the complaints procedure within the school.

I look forward to receiving this letter.

[Ketrick]

That's brilliant lala! I am so jaded now, and distrust the Head so much, that I simply would not believe any reply that she would give me! I have decided to forge ahead and kick up as much of a stink as possible. I looked on the LEA website and it clearly states that a school's complaints process must be "publicised", so I AM going to make sure it is by way of complaint to the LEA. The Head has missed her chance to get me to stand down now.

[ElbowFan]

I understand how you feel and that you want justice as well as the best for your ds, but is it also worth considering walking away and leaving this horrible HT and school behind you? Is there another local school which would be acceptable to your ds? It may result in a happier couple of years in Primary for you both.

[Ketrick]

Hi there Elbow, that is a really good idea, but I have a serious illness which makes it hard for me to get around. The school is practically on our doorstep and I moved to this house from very far away for that very reason.

I should also add that I moved him on from a school in Hackney after reception year another because a very violent and disturbed child was awaiting an assessment and kept randomly punching him in the face. I then moved him after year 1 from London altogether because at the new school he was kicked repeatedly in the playground and also three children in his class were awaiting assessments resulting in the teacher and assistant having no time at all to actually teach any of the other children anything. This school now is much better than both of those were.

So my only option now is Lioness Mode, ie, fight for my cub with every thing I've got! Or win lottery and do home schooling of course.