Getting ready for Reception - what happens if they can't do it?

[emy72]

Hi

my DS1 is also starting Reception in September and I have read that thread with some anxiety.

DD1 could do her zip/coat and all the rest age 2 and a half but DS1 is unable. He is 3 and a half. We have tried to encourage him to dress/undress, put his shoes, socks on and off etc but he just CANNOT DO IT and now he point blank refuses. What happens if he can't when he starts reception?

On the other hand, he knows all his letters and letter sounds plus can do CVC words as he is very keen on that and DD1 has been teaching him. But he is hopeless at self care.

Will they help him if we can't manage it by September? (

[cyb]

yes they will help him and seeing everyone else trying might be the start he needs

[emy72]

Thanks cyb, pheeew that reassured me.
He goes to preschool now and is ok going to the toilet on his own, which is a start at least!!!!

[harveytherabbit]

They will help and it'll be fine but also remember September is ages off still for him and he might well do these things by then.

[yellowcircle]

If he is only 3 and a half now, he will be one of the youngest in the year. I know at the school DS is going to, they definitely take into account the differing ages of the children. They will help him, don't worry.

[westender]

I'd be a bit puzzled if he can read CVC words and knows his sounds, but CAN NOT dress or put socks or shoes on.

Do you mean CAN NOT or do you mean WILL NOT?

[emy72]

A bit of both. I think he's not interested in doing it so he starts off, struggles and give up. We have tried lots of approaches but we don't want it to become a nightmare every time! x

[Fayrazzled]

My son was just 4.0 when he started in reception. He couldn't dress himself either or zip up his coat. He was doing the latter within a few weeks of reception and getting himself undressed and dressed for PE with some help. He can now manage it all, bar top button of his shirt, himself, at 4.5. Teachers/TAs will help those who struggle and often younger boys do have difficulty with those tasks involving fine motor skills. Please don't worry.

Westender, I don't see what's so confusing? It's perfectly possible to have better developed verbal/reading skills at 3.5 than fine motor skills- especially in boys.

[emy72]

Thanks Fayrazzled. Talking of fine motor skills, I have also noticed that he struggles with holding his pencil/writing, so maybe the two things are linked from a developmental point of view.

[coppertop]

They will help him at school if he still can't manage.

Something that helped my ds with dressing himself (he had delayed motor skills) was a method called back chaining. Basically what happens is that you start by doing everything except the very last step.

So with trousers you would help him step into them and pull them up almost to the top. He then pulls them up for that last little bit. When he's got the hang of that you miss out the final two steps (so this time, say, only pull them up to just above his knees).

Each time he gets the hang of the latest step you then leave out more so that eventually he is doing it by himself.

[CoonRapids]

Sounds familiar emy72. My DS was having trouble holding his pencil and dressing until he was around 4 something. He's only just mastered doing a coat zip at 5.6 and still struggling to do up buttons. His younger sister held pens correctly aged 2 something. Now DD is 3.4 and it still astounds me the things like dressing that she insists on doing for herself compared to DS who just wouldn't try. I often notice she's suddenly wearing different trousers and it's because she's had a toilet accident and gone and got herself changed!

[Clary]

emy if you want to encourage his motor skills (might be a good idea for coat and writing!) try some of these:

Playdough
Lego
Playmobil (fiddly bits)
dressing dolls, Barbies etc
Shaving foam in a tray and he "writes" in it
Ditto sand
Making patterns with crayons on big piece of paper, inspired by music
Playing with food eg cooked spaghetti

[CardyMow]

You also have to bear in mind that there will be some of the older children in the year that may have sn and have difficulty with these things and still need help. My DS2 is 6.3yo and in Y1, he is SN and has muscle problems, when he started reception he could not even pull up his trousers properly (he could do it but he did it 'from the sides' and got them so twisted he couldn't walk!). By the end of reception, he could put on and take off his top (but not do the buttons) and pull his trousers up properly. He learnt to do the zip on his coat when he was 6.1yo, if someone 'strts it off' for him, as he hasn't got the muscle strength/co-ordination to 'clip' the two parts of the zipper together, so he still has help with it in Y1.

Your Ds will not be the only child who is still learning to do these things in reception, and barring any SN/ physical problems, will more than likely be able to do all of these things by the end of reception, or certainly by halfway through Y1. DON'T WORRY! The teacher/TA will help!!

[cory]

My ds is in Yr 5 and he is still capable of putting his trousers on back to front after PE.

[CoonRapids]

Lol Cory, yes DS came home from school last week with trousers on backwards after PE (but he's yr1)